1 00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:37,759 Grandma! 2 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:39,520 Grandma! 3 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,319 Who is it? 4 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,080 It's me, your grandson, Recep İvedik. 5 00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:49,159 Password? 6 00:02:49,719 --> 00:02:50,599 Password is 7 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:55,199 the crops come up to my thigh, which is a little unfortunate for me, 8 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,719 since I'd like to show you something between my groin and knee. 9 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,319 That's last year's password! 10 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,039 All right. But it's still something to do with crops, right? 11 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,199 Yes. 12 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:08,159 Before the wheat begins to bud, the blind... 13 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,039 -Calf! -...the blind calf does not limp! 14 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,280 A blind calf does not limp before the wheat begins to bud. 15 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,560 All right, let me in! 16 00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:23,840 Fucking Adriano, Make the pass! Pissing me off again! 17 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,719 Grandma, instead of playing with Inter, 18 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,919 better if you chose Manchester because they have Rooney. 19 00:03:28,479 --> 00:03:32,000 You're sitting on my precious chest! 20 00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:35,479 Get your fat ass off it now! 21 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,599 Get up! 22 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,080 Look, I've brought you the game you wanted and some flowers. 23 00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:42,400 Come on, why do you treat me like this? 24 00:03:43,159 --> 00:03:45,400 Why do you always buy me a bunch of daisies? 25 00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:48,080 Can't you buy a bonsai tree or a golden coltsfoot? 26 00:03:48,159 --> 00:03:50,439 And where am I supposed to find a bonsai or a coltsfoot, grandma? 27 00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:53,280 You picked these up from the cemetery. 28 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,800 What? You're breaking my heart! 29 00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:57,280 -Get up from there! -Take your flowers! 30 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,439 Get up. Sit there in front of me. 31 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,280 You must never sit on this chest. 32 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,800 This chest is what I hold most precious. 33 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,919 God damn it, I don't see what's so precious about it! 34 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,520 You'll see what's in it when I'm dead, and not before. 35 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,400 You won't even walk around it. 36 00:04:14,479 --> 00:04:15,879 I forbid you, that's it. 37 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,160 I'll die without seeing it. God, you're such an animal! 38 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,040 -I wonder which farm you come from. -That's too far. 39 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,399 And no one has any idea what job you do. 40 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,879 You act like the rascal of the neighborhood. 41 00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:29,759 You beat everyone up. Everyone complains about you! 42 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,319 I feel upset. 43 00:04:31,399 --> 00:04:34,720 I follow a philosophy when it comes to these matters. Like I always say, 44 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,439 before the wheat begins to bud the calf does not limp. 45 00:04:38,519 --> 00:04:42,040 I keep repeating it, so that I can get it into your fat head. 46 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,240 Think about it when you're doing something important. 47 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,000 This man! Do you know who that is? 48 00:04:49,079 --> 00:04:52,000 That's your grandfather, a wrestler, a man well-built like a bear. 49 00:04:52,079 --> 00:04:56,680 At the time of Sultan Hamit in the 1300s, he founded an advertising agency. 50 00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:59,480 And do you know who runs this agency now? 51 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,759 Hakan, your cousin. 52 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,040 Hakan the brat? 53 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,800 Yes, Hakan the brat. Why don't you be more like him? 54 00:05:06,879 --> 00:05:09,240 Grandma, I'm going to be honest. 55 00:05:09,319 --> 00:05:11,199 Hakan the wanker, who can't get it up? I want nothing to do with him. 56 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,079 I'll never take a share from that impotent bastard. 57 00:05:14,639 --> 00:05:16,600 I wish I could finally see you become a man. 58 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:17,920 If I just could see a nice girl at your side. 59 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,439 When will I see it? I'm really old and about to die. 60 00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:22,199 Are you gay or a faggot? 61 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,720 Listen, Grandma. You're going too far. 62 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,399 If you were not my grandmother I would already have broken your bones. 63 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,079 You're a bad guy, get lost. 64 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,839 Do you even know why I called you here? 65 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,439 Why would you call me? I'm here now, aren't I? 66 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:35,720 I bought you the game you wanted. The flowers you wanted. 67 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,839 It's not as though I came with nothing. And all you do is yell at me. 68 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,399 I'm asking three things from you. Nothing more. 69 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,079 Bring it on. You always want something. 70 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,480 One. You're going to get a job. 71 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,639 Wait, let me write these down so I remember. 72 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,920 May dogs piss on your head! Come on, make sure you remember what I say. 73 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,560 Tell me. One. 74 00:05:53,639 --> 00:05:56,720 One, you're going to get a job, you need to work. 75 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,759 You're giving me a hard time about this. 76 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:02,519 We're in an economic crisis. 77 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,480 Work is not included in my genes. My DNA is out of order. What can I do? 78 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,480 Two, you're going to get married. 79 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:13,800 You're going to get married, you say. 80 00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:15,279 It's easy to say. 81 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,720 I want it, too. For the last 32 years, 82 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,120 I've been wanking. I'm bored of it. 83 00:06:18,199 --> 00:06:19,800 Of course I'd like to have a wife. 84 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,399 Three, you're going to be respected, you're going to be a good guy. 85 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,240 I'm going to be respected. 86 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,480 I'm already highly respected, so that's easy. 87 00:06:29,079 --> 00:06:30,720 Whenever I go out into the neighborhood, 88 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,600 all the people stand up 89 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,439 straight to attention. 90 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:39,040 I've told you three things. Don't dare coming back home without completing them. 91 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,120 Okay, I'll do it. I'll think of something. 92 00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,759 Don't come back here until you're a man. Now get lost! 93 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,279 Fine, I'll go do what you want. 94 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,800 I've promised to do it. 95 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:50,519 I even bought you a nice little PlayStation so you can occupy yourself. 96 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,240 You don't let me go. 97 00:06:52,319 --> 00:06:54,600 Then why are you still sitting there like a guest? 98 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,680 Get up, get the fuck out of here! 99 00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:57,360 Your insults are so painful. 100 00:06:57,439 --> 00:06:59,199 Fuck off! Get out! 101 00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:01,399 Fine. I'll do what you tell me to do. 102 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,519 I will do whatever you want. 103 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:04,360 You fucking prick, piss off! 104 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,480 Where do I begin with this work thing? 105 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,000 God, all I want is to peacefully sit here in front of this window 106 00:07:15,079 --> 00:07:17,600 and quietly watch the people go by. Now look at me. 107 00:07:24,839 --> 00:07:25,759 I can't do that. 108 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,360 I'll try that. 109 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,079 Hello, I'm calling for the ad. Where are you located? 110 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,519 Actually, Tuzla is a bit too far for me. 111 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,600 Can't you come to my house, in Güngören? 112 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,720 What, how can you say that as a boss? 113 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,720 You can't come to the house of an employee? 114 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,720 Why the hell not? What, do you hate your employees now? 115 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,720 No, I can't come to Tuzla. Fuck you and your job! 116 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,399 Just because the guy is an employer, he expects everyone to come to his place. 117 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,959 Come here and tell me what job you're offering me. 118 00:07:55,519 --> 00:07:57,079 We're looking for a domestic pet. 119 00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,800 Would that fit me? 120 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,959 I am an animal, but not domesticated. 121 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,079 Not at all. 122 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,279 No chance. 123 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,800 Not at all. 124 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:08,319 Get lost. 125 00:08:08,399 --> 00:08:09,319 No way. 126 00:08:09,399 --> 00:08:10,279 That's possible. 127 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,160 Hello! No, it's not Ali, I said hello. 128 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,399 I have a lot of experience. I am an expert in pedicure. 129 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,720 I cut my own toenails. 130 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,759 And then I lick the parts that are white. 131 00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:31,160 I don't mind. I've even licked the feet of women. 132 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,879 Who is it that I'm speaking to? 133 00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:36,320 Who are you? 134 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,679 Leave it. Who are you? 135 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,759 It's me that called you. Who are you? 136 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,360 I'll break your bones. Where are you? 137 00:08:44,919 --> 00:08:47,679 Listen, don't insult me. Otherwise I'll break your bones. 138 00:08:47,759 --> 00:08:49,120 I'll insult you even more. 139 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,120 Enough words! 140 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,000 Come to Güngören, if you want some! 141 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,480 Hello, I'm calling for your ad. 142 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,200 I can't do this job. Thank you very much. 143 00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:05,080 I called, but I can't do it, thank you. 144 00:09:05,759 --> 00:09:08,679 I'm calling for your ad. Apparently you're looking for someone. 145 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,320 Hold on, stop! 146 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,399 Look no further, I am the one you're looking for, my friend. 147 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,519 Good evening. 148 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,879 I come from Kopernik Pizza. 149 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,600 As it says on my badge, the pizzas are the hottest in the galaxy. 150 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:43,240 I've brought you Kopernik Pizza. 151 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:49,159 Kopernik Pizza! 152 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,600 The hottest pizzas in the galaxy 153 00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:57,000 Kopernik! 154 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,279 Okay. I get it. Give me the pizza. 155 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,600 Sorry, that's what they told us to do. Here. 156 00:10:03,639 --> 00:10:08,399 You've made a good choice. Congratulations, you're a smart guy. 157 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:09,360 Give it to me. 158 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,639 How much is it? 159 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,080 Let me see how much my boss ripped you off by. 160 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,720 -28.70, but for you it's only 14.35. -Why is that? 161 00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:21,399 Well, when I was coming in, you know, it smelled so good. 162 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,600 You know, I couldn't help myself. 163 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:26,399 So I ate the pizza. 164 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,440 I swear I haven't touched yours, I just ate the one that comes free in the promo. 165 00:10:28,519 --> 00:10:30,399 I can't believe it. I don't want it. 166 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,399 Listen, friend. 167 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,720 This is my first delivery, you're not going to make a fool out of me. 168 00:10:35,279 --> 00:10:37,759 Go, eat it if you want. I don't want that, I want you to bring me a whole pizza. 169 00:10:39,519 --> 00:10:41,279 What, is this half a pizza then? 170 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,320 What will you do with an entire pizza? 171 00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:45,080 Look at you, you're overeating anyway! You look like a bear. 172 00:10:45,159 --> 00:10:47,320 What's wrong with sharing one with me? 173 00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:50,399 I brought you a whole pizza. It's the other one in the promo that I ate. 174 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:51,399 What's your problem? 175 00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:55,080 Come on, tell me, what's your problem? 176 00:10:55,879 --> 00:10:58,279 Is it because you're fatter than you are selfish? 177 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,240 What's wrong with sharing your pizza with me? 178 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,279 Good God! 179 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,679 Obviously it's because you're so stingy you ended up weighing a ton. 180 00:11:05,159 --> 00:11:07,360 Even if you stopped eating for three months you wouldn't die. 181 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,039 Don't bother giving me the money. 182 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,799 Curse you, you fat, selfish, stingy bastard! 183 00:11:13,879 --> 00:11:16,519 Don't worry about paying, you dirty, selfish cheapskate. 184 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,840 A selfish cheapskate who doesn't share. Bastard! 185 00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:27,279 What, are you crazy or something? Is this how we treat our customers? 186 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,960 You ate the guy's pizzas! 187 00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:32,240 But I needed to eat, would I die out of starvation? 188 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,159 What kind of a guy are you? 189 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,080 The man wanted to make a formal complaint. It was hard dissuading him. 190 00:11:37,159 --> 00:11:41,120 God, I'm so scared, 191 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,399 You're fired. Hand in your uniform and get out. 192 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,840 Fuck you, I quit. Here, take this. 193 00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:47,919 Sure. 194 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,080 Here's your machine. It fell out of my hands. 195 00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:52,320 -Yes.. -Take your pizza, as well. 196 00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:55,279 -Take your helmet, too. -Go away! 197 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,759 What kind of guy are you? Fuck off! 198 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,320 -I'm going to break your bones. -Get out of here! 199 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,679 Looking for a cashier for a store 200 00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:21,679 Come on, guys, get in a line. This way, my dear. 201 00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:25,399 Now, everyone, put your hand on the shoulder of the person in the front. 202 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,279 Put your hand up, redhead. 203 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,080 Good, now you'll stand in line. Like a train. 204 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,679 This is the express lane. 205 00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:35,360 I want to see all of you like the Anatolia Express. 206 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,600 Behave. 207 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:42,720 Look at that, too many calories. 208 00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:45,000 Yes, unfortunately. 209 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,600 After eating that, you won't be able to get yourself up. 210 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,679 Sitting in your armchair all day, and wondering why you weigh a ton? 211 00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:52,279 Take the bag. Give me the money. 212 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,799 Count the money you're giving. 213 00:12:54,879 --> 00:12:56,720 -You gave me too much. -I know what I gave. 214 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,720 Okay, I'll take the change as tip. 215 00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:00,840 You forgot the salt. 216 00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:03,759 In the evening, your husband will say the food has no salt. 217 00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:05,799 Welcome. 218 00:13:06,279 --> 00:13:10,360 Grape molasses and tahini. Big boy. Very good. 219 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:18,159 Motex love. Well, big boy. Some wrestling action tonight? 220 00:13:18,759 --> 00:13:22,559 Where is the squirrel? Where is the caterpillar? 221 00:13:22,639 --> 00:13:25,200 You're having a mixed salad this evening? There's a soccer game tonight? 222 00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,360 You'll be smuggling some meat tonight? 223 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,639 What do you mean? 224 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,600 You got an extra large. 225 00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:36,200 Isn't this too big for you now? I heard you had a tiny dick. 226 00:13:36,279 --> 00:13:40,200 Isn't it going to be too big? If not, you could wear it on your body instead. 227 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,120 I'd better pay and go quickly. 228 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,840 He says he's got a soccer game tonight. 229 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,720 That's 10.70. But I'll charge you 20.70. 230 00:13:52,279 --> 00:13:55,960 Go on, get out, you rascal. He's having a game tonight. 231 00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:57,200 Listen. 232 00:13:57,759 --> 00:13:59,720 Don't use the menthol one, it burns. 233 00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:01,600 Good luck tonight. 234 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:05,240 Like an engine. Okay, big boy? 235 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,159 Good. 236 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,720 He lives in my neighborhood. He didn't go into puberty until the age of 27. 237 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,600 At 25 he didn't even have a single hair on his armpits, the idiot. 238 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,399 He buys a few packs every day. You ask him what he does with them. 239 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,200 You ask him, is there a girl? No. 240 00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:23,000 What he does with all those, I don't know. Probably makes them into balloons 241 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,000 and launches them. 242 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:31,080 Pears, bananas, avocados, eggplants. 243 00:14:31,159 --> 00:14:32,320 Hey, young man. 244 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,399 Yes, boss. 245 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,360 Since this morning all I've received is complaints about you. 246 00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:38,799 Really? What complaints? 247 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,600 About everything. You even almost beat up a customer! 248 00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:44,399 Go on, get out of here quick, and hand in your nametag. 249 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,600 I'm firing you, get out. 250 00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:49,000 Listen, it's me who's resigning, all right? 251 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,279 For God's sake. Go on, hurry up. 252 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,200 Go on? I'm going to stuff this leek down your throat. 253 00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,720 -Fuck you! -I'll make you eat this leek. 254 00:14:55,799 --> 00:14:59,519 Fuck off. Out of here, you mental case. 255 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,240 I've never seen such a mental in my life! 256 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,399 When the guy told me to fuck off, 257 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,519 that made me mad, so I resigned and left. 258 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,960 Good God, as if they'll eat up your resignation. 259 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:13,080 You resign and feel so proud of yourself. 260 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:15,600 Do you know what you've done? 261 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,519 I won't let them trample on my honor and my pride like that. 262 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,679 If you had any honor or pride you'd still be working. 263 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,879 All right then, tomorrow I'll try the medical sector. 264 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,600 Sure, you try that. And see if you can kill anyone while you're at it. 265 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,519 Go on, get out. Actually, come, let's play a game. 266 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,639 I need to fuck you up at PS to get you thinking. 267 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,720 On PS? 268 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:35,399 Come, get up. 269 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,440 -You look very sure of yourself. -I am very sure of myself. 270 00:15:37,759 --> 00:15:40,600 -I'll give you a thrashing. -Come on then, we'll see who beats who. 271 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,000 -Don't put it there! -Why does it matter? 272 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,120 How many times have I told you to never touch that? 273 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,559 That's my precious chest, it's more valuable than you are. 274 00:15:47,639 --> 00:15:49,440 Good God, I was just putting my soup bowl on it. 275 00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:51,080 No, don't do that. 276 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,799 My God, what a tackle, you fucked me over there, look at that. 277 00:15:54,879 --> 00:15:58,360 -Stop. -I'm going to waste you. 278 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,960 -Enough! -Go on, start. 279 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,759 Who shall I play with, which team is that? 280 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,080 You're going to be Inter? 281 00:16:13,879 --> 00:16:17,039 -Good morning. -My God! An enormous buffalo! 282 00:16:18,559 --> 00:16:20,799 Excuse me, I panicked a bit. What do you have? 283 00:16:22,919 --> 00:16:23,879 Are you pregnant? 284 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,879 -Was it external fertilization? -I'm constipated. 285 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,120 -Since when? -Seven, eight, maybe nine days. 286 00:16:39,519 --> 00:16:41,240 I can't imagine the state of your bowels! 287 00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:45,279 The smell, the gas! The stench, it flows through everything. 288 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,279 My stomach is gone! You've caught a viral trend. 289 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,320 It must be chronic diarrhoea. 290 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,600 You're panicking. 291 00:16:57,679 --> 00:16:59,080 It's a very painful disease. 292 00:16:59,159 --> 00:17:02,080 Look, first the vessels of the umbilical partition will die 293 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,799 and then through that hole they call the umbilicus, your feces will emerge, 294 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,440 that's advanced medical language, you better know it as shit. 295 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,680 It will all flow out onto your bed. 296 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,920 I will recommend you alternative medicine. 297 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:19,400 Rectal suppository! It's a good alternative. 298 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,559 -You know how to use it? -I do. 299 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,920 Let me explain, so that everything is perfectly clear. 300 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Everything should be clear to the patient. 301 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:33,279 If not, we'll end up with people trying to swallow it with water. Pay attention. 302 00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:35,640 Tell me, what is this? 303 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,480 What is it? 304 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:43,440 Yours would look like this. 305 00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:45,240 There are two massive cheeks. 306 00:17:45,319 --> 00:17:48,400 Normally they're a bit smaller. Yours are like this. 307 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,880 You spread them. 308 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,599 I'll describe it later. It's like this. 309 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:57,599 Take some Vaseline, like this. Take a generous amount. 310 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,039 Lubricate it well with your hands. 311 00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:02,720 Now, the suppository. 312 00:18:04,799 --> 00:18:10,240 The beginning is rough, but the end is smooth. You take it and put the tip here. 313 00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:14,079 What kind of a man are you, are you crazy or what? 314 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,359 I'm going to help you out. 315 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,240 Help me? 316 00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:20,400 You should be ashamed to work with such a pervert as him! 317 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,279 Dear Neriman, she stuffed her face so much. 318 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,720 Excuse me, but she has nine tons of dried shit in her stomach. 319 00:18:29,799 --> 00:18:33,279 I try to help and she calls me perverted! 320 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:37,440 But you're a rude man, you're too insensitive. 321 00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:41,640 All right, look, I understand where you're going here. 322 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,480 Take this off me, take my coat. 323 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,799 I'm handing in my pledge of prostate here. 324 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,240 Take the suppository. I'm resigning and leaving. 325 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,640 Looking for a steward for AtlasJET 326 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,440 Go on! 327 00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:14,359 In the name of God. Let's go. 328 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,400 I have diarrhoea because I'm nervous. 329 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,400 And the increased atmospheric pressure to boot, you know. 330 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,200 It's going to blow my pants off. Has it ever happened to you? 331 00:19:23,279 --> 00:19:25,960 No. Never mind, forget it for now. 332 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,480 I'll check the economy class. You can take care of business class. 333 00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:30,480 Business class? 334 00:19:30,559 --> 00:19:33,440 Yes, business class is up to the curtain. It's for businessmen. 335 00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:36,599 On this side of the curtain we have notables, businessmen. 336 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,599 Yes, absolutely. 337 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,079 Okay, I got it, I'll make sure. 338 00:19:40,519 --> 00:19:43,480 Sir, I wish you have a good day. Welcome to Atlas Jet. 339 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,720 -Your field of business? -Textiles. 340 00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:55,000 -Very good. Yours? -Tourism, sir. 341 00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:57,480 -Cool, and yours? -Food. 342 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,559 -Food sector! And you? -I'm with textiles. 343 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,680 They say the two who love textiles are destined to meet. 344 00:20:05,599 --> 00:20:06,839 You? 345 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,000 -Yes? -Your occupation? 346 00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:09,119 Why are you asking? 347 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,559 I need to be sure that our passengers in business class are actually businessmen. 348 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,759 I'm a movie producer. 349 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,559 Looking at the woman here, I can more or less guess the subject of your movies. 350 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,960 Congratulations, you are on the right track! 351 00:20:23,039 --> 00:20:24,519 Nice. What about you? 352 00:20:27,039 --> 00:20:29,039 Take them off! What's your job? 353 00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:31,440 What? I'm just having fun! 354 00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,200 I'll beat the fuck out of you! 355 00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:35,400 Get in the back! Rude kid. 356 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:39,240 You're just a slacker. Get in the back! Taking up business class seats! 357 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,799 Excuse me. We have a security issue. 358 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:48,599 Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Brown, there is a little problem. What's your occupation? 359 00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:57,079 Your seatbelts attach as shown. 360 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:04,759 Look at the belt, it fastens and unfastens like this. 361 00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:06,880 It's very easy, no need to explain it. 362 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,559 Our plane has eight emergency exits. 363 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,799 The exits! Everyone, turn your heads! 364 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,720 Afterwards I don't want to hear anyone saying I didn't see, I didn't know. 365 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:16,720 Here, look, two in the front, two behind and two right here. 366 00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:20,480 Emergency instructions are in the pockets of the seats. 367 00:21:20,559 --> 00:21:21,880 The emergency instructions. 368 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,160 Don't bother with this at all. 369 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,000 When they tell you to bend over and all that, it's bullshit. 370 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,200 If the plane crashes, everyone just hug one another. 371 00:21:30,279 --> 00:21:31,799 The probability that we'll all die is exactly ninety percent. 372 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,480 You have light bulbs above each seat, don't dare telling me later, 373 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:39,480 we're in the dark, sir, call the steward for help. 374 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,200 We're showing you, lights above everyone. 375 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,319 If the cabin pressure should vary, above your head... 376 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,400 Oxygen! While we are flying, if the pressure drops 377 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,000 the lid should open... Where is the compartment? 378 00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:51,680 This is it. It should open by itself. 379 00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:56,960 Take this, pull back the thing, then pull it over your head like this. Okay? 380 00:21:57,039 --> 00:22:01,880 Make sure you do the kids first. They're saying it wrong. 381 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,960 Life jackets are... 382 00:22:03,039 --> 00:22:05,400 Life jackets are below the seats, you can set them to your size. 383 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,039 These are the clips, just clip on them like this. 384 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:13,759 Two red handles, ensure you pull them! 385 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:18,839 Get it off! 386 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,440 Don't pull my hair! 387 00:22:38,079 --> 00:22:40,039 I was going to die there you know, why don't you believe me? 388 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,720 My head aches due to increased blood pressure, and my bottom due to diarrhoea. 389 00:22:42,799 --> 00:22:44,720 And on top of all that the air pressure! I swear I was going to explode. 390 00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,400 Why did you pull the strings, Recep? 391 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,519 Why did I pull the strings? 392 00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:50,079 How else are we meant to show the passengers? 393 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,799 I'm lucky to be alive. You see, I have two capillaries 394 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,599 going from my neck to my brain, both feeding my frontal lobe. 395 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:03,759 When the circulation disappears, I just collapse immediately! Knock out! 396 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,079 Hope you feel better. 397 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,160 Thank you. 398 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,440 You have not fastened your belt? 399 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,480 Don't insult me. 400 00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:17,160 My family is one of the first families of aviation. 401 00:23:17,799 --> 00:23:21,039 When I was seven years old, I was already playing with a force 12-14 G. 402 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,079 I'm very experienced. Do you know who you're talking about? 403 00:23:25,799 --> 00:23:28,720 My grandmother was one of the first Turkish women who flew. 404 00:23:28,799 --> 00:23:30,799 She was on a flight with Safiye Soyman once. 405 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,880 Safiye Soyman? Who is that? 406 00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:37,000 What a disgrace! You don't know that and call yourself a flight attendant? 407 00:23:37,079 --> 00:23:38,519 How can you call yourself an stewardess? 408 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,720 You don't even know the first Turkish woman who flew on a plane? 409 00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:43,079 My goodness! There was even an airport named after her. 410 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,720 You haven't heard of the Safiye Soyman Airport? 411 00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:48,160 But that's Sabiha Gökçen Airport, Recep, not Safiye Soyman! 412 00:23:49,519 --> 00:23:53,720 Maybe. My memory is overloaded. 413 00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:57,119 -You are funny. -What was that? 414 00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:03,039 -Dear passengers. -God! 415 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,640 we are experiencing some turbulence. 416 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,039 -Please, fasten your seatbelts. -What's that? 417 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:08,039 -It's just turbulence. 418 00:24:09,319 --> 00:24:12,799 Hold on, I'll ask the pilot. It must be the pilot's fault. 419 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,720 He needs to fly the plane instead of talking. 420 00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:15,799 Stay there. 421 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,039 Open up, I want a word! 422 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,319 Come out! 423 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,519 -What's wrong, sir? -Come here. 424 00:24:23,599 --> 00:24:27,400 Why are you trying to show off? 425 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,400 Come to your senses! 426 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,279 Fly the aircraft properly! Do not fly it into turbulence. 427 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,720 Leave the boasting and fly the plane properly! 428 00:24:35,799 --> 00:24:37,240 You are on an empty road. 429 00:24:37,319 --> 00:24:39,200 -There's nothing wrong, sir! -Nothing? 430 00:24:39,279 --> 00:24:41,400 Look at you! Can't even brush your hair! 431 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,400 You think you're an expert? You think you're the best pilot? 432 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,240 Just shut up and drive the plane. 433 00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:49,480 Fly it properly! You're up in an empty space. 434 00:24:49,559 --> 00:24:52,039 No roads, nothing, just air all around! 435 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,559 Dumb fuck! 436 00:24:55,319 --> 00:24:56,359 Good God. 437 00:24:58,519 --> 00:25:00,599 They should also give us hats like yours. 438 00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:06,960 -What happened? -Massage it gently. 439 00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:09,519 Tell me, what happened? 440 00:25:09,599 --> 00:25:13,359 It was the atmospheric pressure. I've got gas in my stomach. 441 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,559 It happens to workers. 442 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,359 I resigned due to these difficulties. 443 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,400 What? 444 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,599 What else could I do? 445 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,839 You're a bastard! 446 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,400 How is it even possible to resign 17 times in 20 days? 447 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,079 What can I do, grandma? 448 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,799 The sector just doesn't suit me. Business life is not for me. 449 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,400 Look at your Grandfather there! He established an advertising agency. 450 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,400 Your cousin is now in charge. He is very rich. 451 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,200 You can go there, I've spoken with Hakan. 452 00:25:39,279 --> 00:25:42,240 -What did you say to him? -He's going to give you a share. 453 00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:46,200 What? But you've got no official evidence to prove that I have a share! 454 00:25:46,559 --> 00:25:49,000 We live in a secular, democratic country. 455 00:25:49,079 --> 00:25:51,119 Is that fair? 456 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,319 You'll be the owner, the partner of the company. 457 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,400 They're waiting for you there. Go now. 458 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,279 -Grandma, please, don't send me there. -Go! 459 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:58,799 -Please, don't send me to Hakan! -Go! 460 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,759 -Please! -Enough. You're frustrating me! 461 00:26:00,839 --> 00:26:04,160 Just give me the stupid address. For God's sake, this will never end. 462 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,440 The way you keep nagging me, you sound like a Japanese torturer. 463 00:26:07,519 --> 00:26:09,240 At least go and see. If I can't make a man out of you, I'll die unhappy. 464 00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:10,799 Just give me the address. 465 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,680 -All right. I'll give it to you. -Give me the exact address then. 466 00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:15,920 -Okay. Write it down. -It's... 467 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,240 You've forgotten it, haven't you? 468 00:26:19,559 --> 00:26:21,400 How are you supposed to get me a job with your little brain? 469 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,440 I won't get you a job. I'm just telling you to get your share of the company. 470 00:26:23,519 --> 00:26:25,200 I really don't want to go to Hakan. 471 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:28,640 If you don't, I'll never forgive you. 472 00:26:57,319 --> 00:26:58,759 Peace be with you. Is Hakan the slimy bastard here? 473 00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:01,920 -Hakan the what? -Hakan İvedik. My cousin. 474 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,559 Mr. Hakan is in a meeting. 475 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,400 Where exactly can I find the meeting room? 476 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:06,519 Thanks. I'll find it myself. 477 00:27:06,599 --> 00:27:09,440 Do you have an appointment? Sir, one second, please. 478 00:27:09,519 --> 00:27:12,039 Guys, these Japanese guys are world leaders in the automobile sector. 479 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,599 If we get this new contract , we will be the representatives for the Middle East. 480 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,920 Do you know how important it is? 481 00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:19,720 The launch date is finalized, the cost reports are done. 482 00:27:19,799 --> 00:27:24,599 How are you doing, you wild animal? 483 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,200 So you're a boss now? 484 00:27:26,279 --> 00:27:29,279 You've grown up and you attend meetings? 485 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,240 What a big man you are2. 486 00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:33,799 Excuse me, I'm interrupting your meeting 487 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,799 but he is my cousin. 488 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,319 We grew up together. 489 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,599 One day, he said, Recep, I don't feel good. 490 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,359 He said I am 18 but I haven't fucked yet. 491 00:27:44,599 --> 00:27:45,799 Come into my room, Recep. 492 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:46,960 Then he said 493 00:27:47,039 --> 00:27:48,799 I'll speak a little less crudely as there are some girls here. 494 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,279 A few years later, he called me again and said now I am 22 495 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,759 and all I've been doing is wanking, I'm really on fire! 496 00:27:55,839 --> 00:27:58,720 So I said all right, I'm going to take you to school. 497 00:27:58,799 --> 00:28:02,000 I say school, but you understand, I'm talking about a brothel. 498 00:28:02,079 --> 00:28:04,960 So I took him to Karaköy and put him into one of the rooms. 499 00:28:05,039 --> 00:28:07,000 I was waiting for him outside, understand? 500 00:28:07,079 --> 00:28:08,319 While I was there, I heard a voice from the inside. 501 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,319 Recep, come into my room. 502 00:28:14,079 --> 00:28:16,160 I thought it was the girl, but no, it was him! 503 00:28:17,079 --> 00:28:19,680 Recep, can we talk outside? 504 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,000 -What? -We are in a meeting. 505 00:28:22,079 --> 00:28:25,799 You couldn't do it? You little mushroom! 506 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,400 -Recep, come to my office. -You have an office? 507 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,519 You've become a boss, now you have an office? 508 00:28:31,599 --> 00:28:33,000 You guys carry on without me. 509 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,160 Recep, how many years has it been? 510 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,160 -Probably like ten years. -Yes, it's flown by. 511 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,400 All right, stop with the small talk, let's talk business. 512 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,720 -I guess grandma called you. -No, she didn't call me. 513 00:29:03,079 --> 00:29:05,039 -She didn't call? -God no. 514 00:29:07,839 --> 00:29:09,160 Anyway, I'll explain you my situation. 515 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,640 I have decided to return to the field of commerce. 516 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,119 With the encouragement of my grandma. 517 00:29:13,759 --> 00:29:16,799 I worked in different sectors. 518 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,279 I tried the tourism sector, the field of medicine. 519 00:29:19,359 --> 00:29:23,200 Aviation sector, food sector, 520 00:29:23,279 --> 00:29:26,240 but you know the state of our country. 521 00:29:27,079 --> 00:29:31,400 Everyone sticks to one field, they have trained for that. 522 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,079 But there are about 18 million young, hungry, unemployed people. 523 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,920 At the moment, I'm one of them. 524 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,079 It's true, the market is difficult. The real sector doesn't want to accept you. 525 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,720 It's not enough. 526 00:29:41,799 --> 00:29:44,559 That's true. Commerce is very difficult. We are also struggling. 527 00:29:45,119 --> 00:29:49,599 It is very difficult. I've made such an effort. 528 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:56,799 The thing is, you need to know someone popular, someone powerful. 529 00:29:57,319 --> 00:29:58,279 You understand me? 530 00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:03,279 I've been thinking to myself, we have a robust company thanks to our grandfather. 531 00:30:03,359 --> 00:30:07,799 Alaaddin Company, which our forefathers have bequeathed their grandsons 532 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,160 and here we are. 533 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,319 Now, it's time for us to step up, it's time for us to run this company. 534 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,279 I thought to myself, I should discuss this with Hakan, we can agree on something. 535 00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:22,480 If we combine my intelligence with your power and form a partnership. 536 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:24,079 But Recep, what partnership? 537 00:30:24,839 --> 00:30:27,319 These affairs are very difficult. The publicity sector is very different. 538 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,599 Listen to me. I'm being nice to you, aren't I? 539 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,160 I tell you that I also have a right over our grandfather's company. 540 00:30:35,839 --> 00:30:37,880 You are his grandson. And so am I. 541 00:30:38,519 --> 00:30:40,680 Therefore a partnership is mandatory. 542 00:30:40,759 --> 00:30:43,960 Look, business is not your cup of tea. I got a college education. 543 00:30:44,039 --> 00:30:45,839 Don't make me mad! 544 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,400 Stuff your university up your ass! I have a right over this company. 545 00:30:49,799 --> 00:30:52,039 I said nothing about school! I have a right over this company. 546 00:30:52,119 --> 00:30:54,680 I swear I'll draw a line right here and take my rightful half! 547 00:30:55,559 --> 00:30:57,279 How dare you not allow me into my own company? 548 00:30:57,359 --> 00:31:00,960 I swear I'll file a case against you. And I'll break your bones before I go. 549 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,359 -Why are you talking like this? -Shut up! 550 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,000 Don't make me lose it! 551 00:31:09,079 --> 00:31:12,000 All right. Calm down. What do you want to do here? 552 00:31:12,559 --> 00:31:17,160 -What do you do here? -I'm the boss. 553 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,799 Yes, you are the boss. Therefore me, I'm the vice-boss. 554 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,440 Understood? Tell me that I am the vice-boss. 555 00:31:24,519 --> 00:31:26,599 Say it to me now! 556 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,720 Say I'm the second in command. Tell me. 557 00:31:31,279 --> 00:31:33,559 -You are the vice-boss. -Say it again. 558 00:31:34,079 --> 00:31:36,720 -You are the vice-boss. -Good. 559 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,519 So what do you want as the salary? 560 00:31:40,319 --> 00:31:43,000 Well of course, for now, professionally speaking 561 00:31:43,079 --> 00:31:46,599 money is not a priority, but since we're talking money anyway. 562 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,400 You know that these days, the average wage for a man 563 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,759 with a family of four people is around 800 liras, 564 00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:54,599 so since I'm a family of one 565 00:31:55,519 --> 00:31:59,440 I'll have 200 liras plus tax, plus expenses. 566 00:31:59,519 --> 00:32:02,039 I'm going to be using the metro bus as well as other methods of transport. 567 00:32:03,119 --> 00:32:04,039 Fine. That's agreed. 568 00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:06,680 I must return to the meeting. 569 00:32:07,839 --> 00:32:11,400 You can't go back yet, idiot. 570 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,119 Aren't you going to introduce me in my new position to the rest of the company? 571 00:32:26,759 --> 00:32:28,680 Guys. Please, look up. 572 00:32:29,279 --> 00:32:33,200 Mr. Recep is a relative of mine and is a new partner. 573 00:32:33,279 --> 00:32:35,359 He will be joining us as of today. 574 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,680 We were here from the foundation of this company! 575 00:32:38,319 --> 00:32:42,119 No one was here! Only us! 576 00:32:43,119 --> 00:32:44,599 Our grandfather founded this company. 577 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:52,119 He founded it with only a cart and some land. 578 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000 Recep, why are you shouting at them? 579 00:32:57,079 --> 00:33:00,160 I'm a bit nervous as this is my first day as boss. 580 00:33:00,839 --> 00:33:04,000 Excuse me, Mr. Hakan, what will be Mr. Recep's position? 581 00:33:04,559 --> 00:33:08,799 Clark Kent, I'll be here in the missionary position, you know? 582 00:33:10,039 --> 00:33:12,519 We haven't finalized that yet, don't worry, it'll be sorted later. 583 00:33:13,119 --> 00:33:17,839 Hakan, you said nothing about my position as the vice-boss! 584 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,920 Guys, Mr. Recep is the vice-boss. 585 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,559 He is my equal here. That will suffice for now. 586 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,480 My brother, I must return to the meeting. 587 00:33:27,559 --> 00:33:31,240 Go! The company needs you! 588 00:33:43,079 --> 00:33:44,319 1 - Get a job 2 - Marriage 3 - Respect 589 00:33:45,519 --> 00:33:48,640 In my first minute here, I have observed 590 00:33:49,079 --> 00:33:51,000 certain mental disorders. 591 00:33:51,839 --> 00:33:53,960 Now, I'm going to sort these out. 592 00:33:54,359 --> 00:33:57,480 I'll be back later. Now I must go and deal with the flow of business. 593 00:33:58,519 --> 00:33:59,839 Have a good day. 594 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,000 They know nothing about art. 595 00:34:15,079 --> 00:34:17,599 One must have the right point of view with art. 596 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,280 Ladies, will you look for a moment? 597 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,880 It's quite clear that there is motion blur on the televisions behind you. 598 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,320 Yes, there is motion blur. 599 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,199 Pay attention to it, please. 600 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,800 Business life is tough. 601 00:34:36,119 --> 00:34:37,800 You might be physically as strong as a horse 602 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,719 but you must also be active, dynamic. 603 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,760 Mad, insubordinate and solitary. 604 00:34:44,039 --> 00:34:47,719 That's why on these sensory sensitive televisions 605 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:54,119 horse-racing channel will always be on. Here, and in the whole building. 606 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,800 You understand me? 607 00:34:58,039 --> 00:35:00,840 The competition has commenced, dear viewers, I'll see it. 608 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,480 Yes, sir. 609 00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:05,320 The principle is to remain very strong and firm. Like a horse. 610 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,599 Strong. 611 00:35:12,199 --> 00:35:15,039 You understand? 612 00:35:15,119 --> 00:35:18,079 So go with dynamism and energy. 613 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,199 That's how. 614 00:35:30,559 --> 00:35:33,400 Those in the office, I've got my eye on you. 615 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,440 I will inspect that when I return. What the hell is that, girl? 616 00:35:37,159 --> 00:35:40,280 Don't hang your personal clothes here, please. 617 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,000 Go wash this at home, not here. 618 00:35:43,079 --> 00:35:45,400 And you, take all those off your arm. 619 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,599 Why on earth are you wearing nuts? 620 00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,239 Why are you walking around with nuts on your wrist? 621 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,239 Don't you dare respond to me again, or I'll give you a slap. 622 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,960 He asks me what position. Impudent swine. Work properly. 623 00:35:55,039 --> 00:36:00,239 Hang up the phone. We need to make some spending cuts. 624 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:05,800 Before Hakan, the water mill here was always flowing. But not anymore! 625 00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:09,280 This is my grandfather's company. And there is an economic crisis. 626 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,719 You, do you use Photoshop? 627 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,960 -Yes. -Is it CS 4 or 5? 628 00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:15,519 -CS 4. -Well done. 629 00:36:15,599 --> 00:36:17,199 Work through layer by layer, okay? 630 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,039 Very good, fatty, using Photoshop. Good. 631 00:36:21,119 --> 00:36:23,519 I appreciate you working together on this. Good partnership. 632 00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:26,360 But you, are you one of those pirates of the Caribbean? 633 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,000 You think you're one? 634 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,239 Go cut your hair or I'll throw you out. 635 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,159 Go sort yourself out! 636 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,079 How old are you, child? 637 00:36:38,159 --> 00:36:39,039 27. 638 00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:41,480 Very good, little one. What do you want to be when you grow up? 639 00:36:41,559 --> 00:36:42,440 But I'm... 640 00:36:42,519 --> 00:36:44,800 Look how little she is. 641 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,719 Come with your fancy costume on the 23rd April, to the children's party. 642 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,000 You can wear the Norwegian national dress. 643 00:36:50,079 --> 00:36:53,480 We'll even let you be in charge for a whole day. 644 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,039 Go! Get away from here. 645 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,039 You pervert, sexually harassing the girls! 646 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,760 Yes, good job, young girl. What is this? 647 00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:08,800 Tell me, what is this, my dear? 648 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,159 Is it a cell phone? Do you not know not to keep it so close to the computer? 649 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,280 You're working with equipment worth millions of dollars. 650 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,679 It might damage the EBS, ESR, and ASR of the machines. 651 00:37:19,679 --> 00:37:22,480 We tell you at every opportunity. You still haven't understood. 652 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,199 Look at that! Two employees at one table. 653 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,719 Get lost! Go and find another table. 654 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,960 Take your notebook, as well. 655 00:37:33,079 --> 00:37:35,800 There, it was a necessary action to boost your performance. 656 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,800 Good. Carry on. Work hard. 657 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,199 I appreciate your use of color. Very good. 658 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,639 As soon as I found the place, I went and got hold of him. 659 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:55,079 I said, Hakan, you can't manage everything by yourself 660 00:37:55,159 --> 00:37:56,639 at this company founded by my grandfather. 661 00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,079 He immediately saw the sense in what I said. 662 00:37:59,159 --> 00:38:03,159 He told me, of course, my dear, Recep. You should become vice-boss. 663 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:07,559 He is a man of good faith, reasonable, but too talkative and unscrupulous. 664 00:38:07,639 --> 00:38:09,199 So now you have a job, you need to get a girl. 665 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,800 Grandma, if you don't shut up I'll beat the shit out of you. 666 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,000 Be decent! 667 00:38:13,079 --> 00:38:15,559 I'm not trying to be rude, but I've had enough trouble just getting a job. 668 00:38:15,639 --> 00:38:17,280 -Go get a girl right away! -I will! 669 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,920 -You'll find one and show her to me. -Damn it, haven't you done enough? 670 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,400 I want to see a girl. 671 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,960 Just carry on spinning wool, why are you talking to me about girls? 672 00:38:24,039 --> 00:38:28,239 -You will find one immediately! -Don't try to shout louder than me. 673 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:29,840 That's enough! You're such a disgrace! 674 00:38:32,159 --> 00:38:36,559 Look at this rude, dishonest, impudent lecher! 675 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,039 Where is everyone? 676 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,800 It's not even 12.30 and everyone's packed up for the day. 677 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,280 Where are the people? The computers are still running. 678 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,519 These devices are consuming electricity. 679 00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:06,159 This is my grandfather's company! 680 00:39:19,599 --> 00:39:21,800 Well done. 681 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:22,920 Congratulations. 682 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,719 Where are all the employees? You are the only one here. Well done. 683 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,519 It's 12.30, Mr. Recep, it's lunch break now. 684 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,199 So why haven't you gone with them, aren't they your friends? 685 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,519 -No, I don't like them. -Why not? 686 00:39:35,599 --> 00:39:36,920 They're all imbeciles. 687 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,199 That's true. Especially the group in the middle, they are really stupid. 688 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,960 Idiots. So you don't have many friends here? 689 00:39:43,039 --> 00:39:44,000 No, not many. 690 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,679 -Not many female friends, either? -I have plenty of female friends. 691 00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:49,840 What do you mean plenty, you ugly monkey? 692 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:51,840 They're on the internet. 693 00:39:53,159 --> 00:39:56,639 They say there are many girls on the internet, is it true? 694 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:57,920 It's very true, Mr. Recep. 695 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,719 I need to get a few girls. 696 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:05,280 I managed to get a job. Now I'm at the second phase, marriage. 697 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,719 You can easily find them. There are escort agency sites, dating sites. 698 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:11,239 Shut up! 699 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,480 I tell you I'm looking for a girl to marry and you talk about escorts. 700 00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:17,760 -It's impossible! -Sorry, Mr. Recep. 701 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,000 How dare you call my wife an escort! 702 00:40:19,559 --> 00:40:22,199 Okay. So you want to make a profile on normal sites. 703 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,199 Go and make me a profile. 704 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,679 Save me from my misery. 705 00:40:28,039 --> 00:40:31,400 Here we go. First, you need a nickname. 706 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,239 -Nick what? -Nickname. A pseudonym. 707 00:40:35,679 --> 00:40:37,400 -A pseudonym. -Do you have one? 708 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,039 Me and my grandfather share the same nickname, bear-strangler. 709 00:40:40,119 --> 00:40:41,920 Bear-strangler, isn't that a bit harsh? 710 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,159 How dare you speak like that about the name of my grandfather! 711 00:40:44,559 --> 00:40:46,360 A girl must accept me just the way I am. 712 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,039 The babes are attracted by my swagger, not my display. 713 00:40:50,119 --> 00:40:52,719 The girl will see that I'm a bear-strangler when she sees me anyway. 714 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,800 Okay. Now I have to put in your hobbies. 715 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,159 My hobbies? 716 00:40:56,519 --> 00:40:58,400 Sports maybe? 717 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,079 -I like horse racing as a sport. -Horse racing. 718 00:41:01,159 --> 00:41:02,880 -Yes. -Any others? 719 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,800 Close-quarters combat. I can knock people out. I do it well. 720 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,239 If I hit someone they drop immediately. 721 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,800 Right, so he fights well. Are there any others? 722 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,800 -I am sensitive. -He is sensitive. 723 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,599 I am aggressive. I have complexes. 724 00:41:18,679 --> 00:41:21,719 But I am timid as a kitten when by myself. 725 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:27,280 Aggressive, complexes, like a kitten when by self. 726 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,679 -Yes. -Fine. 727 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,800 And finally, we need a profile picture. 728 00:41:33,119 --> 00:41:34,639 -Fine, take one now. -I'll take one. 729 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,280 -Smile, Mr. Recep. -Count down from three to one. 730 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,519 -Three. Two. One. 731 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:44,639 -It's done. -Is it okay? 732 00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:45,599 -Yes, have a look. -Cool. 733 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,119 I'll complete your profile this evening at home. 734 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:49,960 See if any chicks have replied yet. 735 00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:52,280 -Not yet. -Why not? 736 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,079 No one would respond that quickly. 737 00:41:54,159 --> 00:41:56,559 Look, I'll complete it at home. Tomorrow you'll have one or two. 738 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,559 Okay then. We'll see tomorrow. 739 00:41:59,639 --> 00:42:00,599 Yes. Tomorrow. 740 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,519 You can call me just Recep from now on. 741 00:42:03,599 --> 00:42:05,880 -Now we're on a different level. -All right, Recep. 742 00:42:06,559 --> 00:42:08,480 I'll break your bones. 743 00:42:09,199 --> 00:42:12,000 -I do close-quarters combat. -Sorry, Recep. 744 00:42:33,559 --> 00:42:35,400 Recep. 745 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:37,360 Recep. 746 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,000 What are you doing? Is this a camera? 747 00:42:41,079 --> 00:42:43,599 Can't you see I am busy? I am photocopying. 748 00:42:43,679 --> 00:42:45,599 -I have some good news. -What happened? 749 00:42:46,039 --> 00:42:48,280 -I've got you a date. -Really? 750 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,920 -I swear. -By God? 751 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,159 -By God. -Oh my God. I am very happy. 752 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,360 -Calm down. -I'm very excited. 753 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,159 So excited. 754 00:43:00,679 --> 00:43:03,400 Well done. 755 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:04,360 High five! 756 00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:09,440 This is great. I need to go sort myself out. 757 00:43:09,519 --> 00:43:11,880 But first let's photograph this moment to remember. 758 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,159 -What are you doing? -Take that. 759 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:14,800 -But you've broken it. -Come on. 760 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:15,840 But it is dangerous. 761 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:25,719 What are you doing, Recep? People will mistake us for lovers. 762 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,960 I'm not doing this for your amusement. 763 00:43:28,599 --> 00:43:30,880 In fact, all my friends are animal-types. 764 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,199 This is the first time that I've dated someone through the internet. 765 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,800 It's nothing to get so excited about. It will be awesome. 766 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,440 The girl's nickname is daisy girl. She'll wear pink. 767 00:43:38,519 --> 00:43:41,599 -Let me see if she almost here. -Has she arrived? 768 00:43:41,679 --> 00:43:45,400 -No, calm down. -I just had an explosion of adrenaline. 769 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,039 Look, my mouth is dry. Look, can you see? 770 00:43:49,119 --> 00:43:50,920 I'm going to get something to drink. You want anything? 771 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,559 -No, thanks. -Fine, mate. 772 00:43:57,079 --> 00:43:58,159 -Thank you. -Pardon. 773 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,880 Hi. Can you give me a powder tea? 774 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,440 -I'm sorry, we don't have powder tea. -All right, give me a glass of lime tea. 775 00:44:06,199 --> 00:44:09,400 -We don't have that, either, sorry. -Then give me a cup of sage tea. 776 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,079 Sorry, we don't have any sage tea. 777 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,400 Give me one of those mint and lemon teas. Go on, hurry up. 778 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,480 But, sir, we don't make mint and lemon tea here. 779 00:44:18,039 --> 00:44:20,239 -Give me a salep then. -We have none. 780 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,199 -Not even some boza? -We only sell coffee. 781 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,639 -Give me a mırra then. Hurry. -We don't have any mırra, sir. 782 00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,679 What, isn't this a Starbucks? 783 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,599 What do you have? 784 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,280 You may choose from our menu, sir. 785 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,440 -That is all that we sell here. -Let me see. 786 00:44:44,199 --> 00:44:46,159 The menu is good. It's a full menu. 787 00:44:48,119 --> 00:44:51,239 What do you suggest? I don't understand any of it. 788 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:56,559 Why not try caramel macchiato? I'll put in an extra espresso shot. 789 00:44:56,639 --> 00:45:00,280 Very well, fine. Give me a karamallimohnettu zopressoshotter. 790 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,360 -What size? -Tall-grande-vinti. 791 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,039 Which one, sir? Those are three different sizes. 792 00:45:06,599 --> 00:45:08,400 Tall-grenti-finti, that's all I want, get on with it. 793 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,599 God, do I have to wait till next morning? 794 00:45:10,679 --> 00:45:11,639 Your name? 795 00:45:12,599 --> 00:45:14,159 Do you need to verify my ID? 796 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,400 No, not that. I need you to give me your name 797 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,079 so that I can call you when your order is ready. 798 00:45:21,599 --> 00:45:25,679 I don't tell my name to people I don't know. 799 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,920 It's my rule. Write down my pseudonym. Bear-strangler. 800 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:35,199 Okay then, Mr. Bear-strangler. 801 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,199 Yes, write whatever shit you want. 802 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:38,800 Excuse me, could I have a napkin? 803 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:40,599 -Daisy girl? -What? 804 00:45:41,119 --> 00:45:43,800 I am Bear-strangler. Daisy girl, right? 805 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,400 What Daisy? What do you mean? 806 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:49,079 I am Bear-strangler. Pink clothes, we have a date. 807 00:45:49,159 --> 00:45:51,599 -What the hell are you talking about? -I'll strangle the bear like so. 808 00:45:51,679 --> 00:45:54,280 Are you crazy or what? You animal! Get lost! 809 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,400 God! Oh God! 810 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,079 God! 811 00:45:59,159 --> 00:46:00,599 Recep? 812 00:46:00,679 --> 00:46:04,400 My eye! 813 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,079 My kidneys! 814 00:46:07,159 --> 00:46:08,800 Oh God! 815 00:46:14,159 --> 00:46:16,199 You want me to blow into it? 816 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,920 My eye! I can't see! Where am I? 817 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,360 Take me to the exit! 818 00:46:24,079 --> 00:46:26,280 Oh God! 819 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:37,599 She ruined me Ali Kerem! 820 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,719 You didn't help me out. Put some more on my eye. 821 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:41,679 All right. 822 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,599 God. That girl pepper-sprayed me right in the eyes. 823 00:46:45,679 --> 00:46:47,519 And you couldn't do anything. Put some more. 824 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:49,239 Okay. 825 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:56,400 She's blinded me! 826 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,400 You wanted that nickname. 827 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,079 But you should have told me you, fool. That nickname is a bit too awkward. 828 00:47:01,159 --> 00:47:02,599 It's you who's so good with computers. 829 00:47:03,039 --> 00:47:04,719 All right, I'll tell you what we'll do. 830 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,079 We'll make a new profile and find a new nickname. 831 00:47:07,519 --> 00:47:11,480 Do what you want. She has blinded me. 832 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,639 My eyes hurt! 833 00:47:14,079 --> 00:47:16,360 Is there a movie that you like? We could use the names of your heroes? 834 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,079 There's a film I quite like, Karate Kid. 835 00:47:18,159 --> 00:47:19,360 Karate Kid, what's that got to do with anything? 836 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,400 But I like it a lot. The way they do the moves. 837 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,880 There's a guy in it, Miyagi-San. He catches a fly with his chopsticks. 838 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:27,559 -All right then, Karate Kid. -Write it in. 839 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,079 Karate Kid. 840 00:47:29,159 --> 00:47:31,719 So we have to write things from the Far East as your hobbies. 841 00:47:32,159 --> 00:47:34,519 Good, write things related to the Far East. 842 00:47:34,599 --> 00:47:36,039 Yes, there are quite a few from the Far East in my family. 843 00:47:36,119 --> 00:47:38,440 -From the Far East? -We were born in Kars. 844 00:47:38,519 --> 00:47:39,920 But Kars isn't in the Far East! 845 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,719 What, is it in the Near West? Shithead. 846 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,639 Kars is in the Far East of Turkey. 847 00:47:49,119 --> 00:47:50,840 Do you want me to write sushi as your favorite food? 848 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,519 Write it. Write whatever you want. 849 00:47:52,599 --> 00:47:55,079 -This sushi stuff, does it taste good? -Yes. It's a Japanese thing. 850 00:47:55,159 --> 00:47:56,920 Good. Write it if it's Japanese. 851 00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:01,440 Done. 852 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,960 I'm feeling a little better now. Is the chick coming tonight? 853 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,039 Not this evening but we'll definitely get one or two tomorrow. 854 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,719 All right then. I'm counting on you. 855 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,800 If it turns out like the last time, I'll rip your hair out, do you hear? 856 00:48:15,199 --> 00:48:17,559 I swear I'll straighten you out. 857 00:48:18,079 --> 00:48:20,559 -Understood. -Take care. See you. 858 00:48:25,559 --> 00:48:29,079 Okay, girls. Let's do coffee fortune telling. 859 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,880 You know what they say. Fortune telling is fun. 860 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,000 Isn't that so, Elizabeth? Such a cutie. 861 00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,039 -Make a wish. -Okay. 862 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,199 Your wish will come true. 863 00:48:43,159 --> 00:48:44,719 Now. 864 00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:48,280 Look, I'll be honest. Don't get angry. 865 00:48:50,199 --> 00:48:53,079 Someone has something that is swelling for you. 866 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,000 They've got a crush on you. Keep an eye out for him. 867 00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:01,599 Look at this cup, see? Yes, it speaks the truth. 868 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:07,639 Yes, but only Berkecan doesn't understand me. 869 00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,719 He never stops criticizing me and doesn't stay faithful. 870 00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,119 I'm really down. 871 00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,360 Why are you talking like a seal? 872 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,760 What is that? Sort yourself out. 873 00:49:22,679 --> 00:49:25,440 -Okay, who's next? -Recep, you have a message. 874 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,599 Didn't I tell you not to call me Recep in public! 875 00:49:29,559 --> 00:49:31,639 -You have to call me Mr. Recep. -Mr. Recep. 876 00:49:32,119 --> 00:49:33,480 Get lost now. 877 00:49:34,519 --> 00:49:35,400 Get going. 878 00:49:37,159 --> 00:49:38,840 Give me the cup, Clementine. 879 00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,480 Someone is inflating for you. 880 00:49:45,159 --> 00:49:48,199 I'm afraid it's the same for both of you. Pay attention. 881 00:49:48,639 --> 00:49:50,719 I'll explain you later. I have an appointment I need to catch. 882 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,280 I'll come back soon. 883 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,079 Don't go anywhere, Okay, Elizabeth? 884 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:55,440 I will return, Clementine. 885 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,679 Recep. 886 00:50:07,559 --> 00:50:08,440 Recep! 887 00:50:09,679 --> 00:50:12,679 Why the hell are you disturbing me while I'm performing my respiratory exercises? 888 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,320 Disturbing you? You were sleeping. 889 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,519 I'm trying to stay calm. 890 00:50:16,599 --> 00:50:18,599 I'm very nervous, come with me inside. 891 00:50:18,679 --> 00:50:20,599 What am I supposed to do, pretend I'm your parent? 892 00:50:20,679 --> 00:50:23,480 -Can you hold my hand? -Hold your hand? 893 00:50:23,559 --> 00:50:24,440 Yes, please. 894 00:50:24,519 --> 00:50:26,599 But you'll look ridiculous in front of the girl. 895 00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:32,079 Just go on, calm down. Go sit at table number 12. 896 00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:35,960 Act like you come here every evening and eat sushi regularly. 897 00:50:36,039 --> 00:50:38,199 Understood. I'll try and stay calm. 898 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,000 I'll act as though I always sit at table 12 and eat sushi. 899 00:50:41,079 --> 00:50:42,280 -Yes. -Great. 900 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:43,239 Stay calm. 901 00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,400 I'm too nervous. I swear my legs aren't attached to my body. 902 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,480 There have only been two days in my life when I've been this excited. 903 00:50:48,559 --> 00:50:52,000 The day I first had an injection and the day I first injected into somebody. 904 00:50:52,079 --> 00:50:53,000 What's with the injection talk? 905 00:50:53,079 --> 00:50:56,079 Perhaps I can make an injection into the girl after the dinner. 906 00:50:56,159 --> 00:50:59,599 I get it. Go on. 907 00:50:59,679 --> 00:51:01,079 -Wish me luck. -Good luck. 908 00:51:01,159 --> 00:51:04,960 -Wish me luck, my friend. -Good luck. 909 00:51:05,039 --> 00:51:06,679 Okay, good luck, Recep. 910 00:51:11,159 --> 00:51:13,400 -Peace be with you, young man. -Come in, sir, welcome. 911 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,280 -Are you called Fatih? -Yes, sir, I am Fatih. 912 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,719 A friend of mine has made a reservoir in my name on table 12. 913 00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,280 -You mean a reservation? -Yes, a reservation. 914 00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:23,280 Come, it's this way. 915 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,519 Hold on, I need to warn you about something. 916 00:51:25,599 --> 00:51:29,000 The date with this girl is very important to me. 917 00:51:29,079 --> 00:51:31,000 This is the first time I've come to Sushi co. 918 00:51:31,079 --> 00:51:35,079 Whenever I call you out, you must call me Recep, 919 00:51:35,159 --> 00:51:37,519 as if I always come here and as if you know me very well. Understood? 920 00:51:37,599 --> 00:51:41,239 -Yes, sir. -Then I'll say, Fatih, bring me the usual, 921 00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,400 and you'll say of course, Recep, right away. 922 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,519 Bring whatever you can find, just fill the table up. You understand? 923 00:51:46,599 --> 00:51:47,840 -Understood, sir. -How will you refer to me? 924 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,519 -Recep. -When I say Fatih, come here? 925 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,440 -Recep. -Well done. 926 00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:55,360 If you make a mistake I'll break your bones. Now piss off. 927 00:52:00,599 --> 00:52:04,400 Enjoy. Praise God, your hair is like a shoe brush. 928 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,159 -Here we are, sir. -Thank you, Fatih. 929 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:09,920 How many guests will you have? 930 00:52:10,679 --> 00:52:13,000 There'll only be one girl, how many do you think? 931 00:52:13,079 --> 00:52:15,599 Do you take me for a pervert? We'll dine face-to-face. 932 00:52:16,039 --> 00:52:18,400 Would you like a cold drink while you wait for your friend? 933 00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,599 Good idea. Bring me whatever you want. 934 00:52:21,679 --> 00:52:22,559 Yes, sir. 935 00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:25,400 Wait, come back here. Bring me some bread. 936 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,360 We don't have any bread here, Recep. 937 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:29,480 What are you saying, you don't have bread here? 938 00:52:30,159 --> 00:52:32,320 Have I not been your customer for many years? 939 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,079 Send someone immediately to the store to get me some. 940 00:52:35,159 --> 00:52:36,039 Right away, Recep. 941 00:52:36,119 --> 00:52:39,000 Piss off. Dumb bastard. Telling me there's no bread. 942 00:53:01,199 --> 00:53:02,079 Here you go, sir, your bread. 943 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,480 Thank you. A meal without bread is no meal at all! 944 00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:07,400 -And your wine. -Thank you. 945 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,760 You've got to taste it first, right? Quality control. 946 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,639 No, not very good. This isn't the exact flavor I want. 947 00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:22,639 Give it to me. 948 00:53:25,159 --> 00:53:26,840 No, this won't do, either. 949 00:53:30,559 --> 00:53:31,800 I'll try white wine. 950 00:53:33,599 --> 00:53:34,559 Thanks. 951 00:53:37,079 --> 00:53:39,440 I tried it through the nasal cavity, you see? No, not good, take it away. 952 00:53:44,639 --> 00:53:47,119 This one's the closest. But still not it. 953 00:53:47,199 --> 00:53:48,800 We haven't found the one yet. 954 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,480 You didn't piss in this one, did you? 955 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,800 A bit too strong. Is it Bavarian? 956 00:53:59,199 --> 00:54:01,800 That's the last bottle we got, there aren't any others left. 957 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,400 What are you looking at? 958 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,599 Nope, this isn't the taste I'm after. 959 00:54:17,679 --> 00:54:20,440 The flavor is good but the body of it isn't as I'd like it to be. 960 00:54:20,519 --> 00:54:21,760 Here, you can take it back. 961 00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,079 To be honest, I'm not really much of a wine lover. 962 00:54:25,159 --> 00:54:26,280 Why do you keep giving me wine? 963 00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,280 Bring me a beer. 964 00:54:30,159 --> 00:54:32,480 -Get going. God! -Yes, Recep. 965 00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,800 You just force the customer to drink wine. 966 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,760 I'm drunk already and I haven't even met the girl yet. 967 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,519 -Karate Kid? -Yakuza. 968 00:54:48,599 --> 00:54:49,480 Yes. 969 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,039 -Delighted. -The pleasure's all mine. 970 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,239 But the sweat on your hand... 971 00:54:59,039 --> 00:55:01,760 You should wipe your hand before coming to meet someone. 972 00:55:03,679 --> 00:55:09,000 How do you like me? Am I as you hoped? 973 00:55:09,599 --> 00:55:13,360 Do you want me to be honest? Since we're friends. 974 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,800 You look a little fucked up. 975 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,559 Smashed, crushed, decomposed. 976 00:55:21,159 --> 00:55:23,280 Yes, you might have a good soul. 977 00:55:25,679 --> 00:55:27,800 Yes, it's worth having a good soul, but what about the rest? 978 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,480 After all, we don't live in a world of spirits. 979 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,400 Therefore, the external beauty of a woman is also important to me. 980 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,719 I don't understand you, Karate Kid. 981 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,840 You'll get to understand. 982 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,599 -Yes, that's it, bring it here. -And this is wasabi. 983 00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:48,639 Look, Fatih! You're taking risks! 984 00:55:50,559 --> 00:55:54,239 -You are funny, Karate Kid. -Sure. 985 00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,280 -So do you like sushi a lot? -Yes, for sure. 986 00:55:59,119 --> 00:56:01,119 Me, too. It's my lifestyle. 987 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,719 I can say that I've been a fan of sushi since the age of three. 988 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:09,719 A lifestyle, a philosophy of life. Let me share a story with you. 989 00:56:11,679 --> 00:56:13,320 When we first came to Istanbul, I was an only child in my family. 990 00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:17,519 That's why I became so spoiled, I never used to eat anything but sushi. 991 00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,960 Every morning I needed to eat two Nigiri sushi to wake myself up. 992 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:25,519 My mother used to work in the clothing sector in the Ümraniye. 993 00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,599 I will never forget that day in fall, 994 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:35,079 when my mother returned home, with a bit of bread in her hand. 995 00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:41,480 We were quite poor so she put 996 00:56:42,199 --> 00:56:43,960 two California rolls in the bread 997 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:46,960 and some ebu tempura 998 00:56:48,559 --> 00:56:50,880 and we shared it amongst ourselves and ate it. 999 00:56:53,079 --> 00:56:54,480 I always feel bad when I remember it. 1000 00:56:55,199 --> 00:56:56,519 I always reminisce about those days. 1001 00:56:59,159 --> 00:57:02,800 Today I am able to dine on king-size and 1002 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,079 queen-size plates. 1003 00:57:05,159 --> 00:57:07,280 I've now ended up, after all that, in this good situation. 1004 00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:11,039 My mother used to feed me every morning with wasabi. 1005 00:57:12,079 --> 00:57:14,199 I used to eat so much of it. That's why I am so robust. 1006 00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,880 She used to feed me. 1007 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,519 She put a lot of effort into bringing me up. My dear mother! 1008 00:57:21,679 --> 00:57:22,559 My mother! 1009 00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,880 You see this? This is what the Japanese call butter. 1010 00:57:28,559 --> 00:57:32,400 I eat this every morning. Look, I spread it onto my bread, you see? 1011 00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,320 I take a bit like this. 1012 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,400 Then I spread like this. 1013 00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:38,880 Be careful! Wasabi is quite spicy, it might sting. 1014 00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,119 Spice doesn't affect men like me, by God! 1015 00:57:58,800 --> 00:57:59,760 What's wrong? 1016 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:03,880 But I told you wasabi is quite hot, didn't I? 1017 00:58:11,199 --> 00:58:13,840 Put some sushi in your mouth. It will reduce the stinging. 1018 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:15,280 What's this? 1019 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,079 What the hell is it? 1020 00:58:19,159 --> 00:58:21,519 Nothing, it's just raw fish. What do you think? 1021 00:58:21,599 --> 00:58:22,760 -Raw fish? -Yes. 1022 00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:31,400 What's up with you? Go away. 1023 00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:46,719 Go to hell! Disgusting! How much did you eat? 1024 00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,880 You might as well have eaten the whole restaurant! You overgrown oaf! 1025 00:58:51,079 --> 00:58:53,599 Go to hell! 1026 00:58:53,679 --> 00:58:54,960 I am so sorry, forgive me. 1027 00:58:55,039 --> 00:58:59,519 Damn your sushi and your wasabi. Go to hell! 1028 00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:01,519 Let me go to the bathroom. 1029 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:07,159 Look me in the eye when I'm talking to you. 1030 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,159 Look what happened to me because of you. 1031 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,480 The only thing I've never eaten was raw fish but thanks to you I did it. 1032 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,519 What did I do? All I did was to wish you good luck. 1033 00:59:17,599 --> 00:59:20,239 Is pepper spray my good luck? 1034 00:59:21,679 --> 00:59:25,519 Is raw fish my good luck? All I did was to wish you good luck. 1035 00:59:25,599 --> 00:59:28,599 I wish you good luck. Anything for you. 1036 00:59:28,679 --> 00:59:31,519 -The girl will be like Turkish delight. -But she was! 1037 00:59:31,599 --> 00:59:35,280 You half-breed Quasimodo. Just go do your job and ring bells. 1038 00:59:36,079 --> 00:59:37,079 Idiot. 1039 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:41,199 You won't find any bitches on the internet, it's all bullshit. 1040 00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,000 We need to go direct to the source. 1041 00:59:44,519 --> 00:59:46,639 Therefore in order to find chicks we must go to places in high society. 1042 00:59:47,639 --> 00:59:50,280 And where would that be? 1043 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,199 -Yoga, for example. -Yoga? 1044 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,480 -Yes, Yoga. -We're going to do yoga? 1045 00:59:54,559 --> 00:59:58,119 Yes we'll go to a yoga class. You'll find super-hot chicks there. 1046 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,440 Fine, take the photo quickly, then let's go for a drink. 1047 01:00:01,519 --> 01:00:02,639 Then we'll go yoga. 1048 01:00:02,719 --> 01:00:04,559 Okay, but Recep, you're blocking the light. 1049 01:00:04,639 --> 01:00:08,360 I'll break your bones first then we'll see how I block the light. 1050 01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:13,199 You'll be seeing stars and angels, they'll be saying come, young boy. 1051 01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,920 Hello? Is no one here to serve customers? 1052 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,119 Welcome, sir. How can I help you? 1053 01:00:33,199 --> 01:00:36,559 I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I've come to join the yoga class. 1054 01:00:37,119 --> 01:00:40,000 Very well. We have a session beginning in half an hour. 1055 01:00:40,079 --> 01:00:41,239 What kind of yoga would you like to join? 1056 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,480 -What kinds do you offer? -We have fengshui yoga and taichi yoga. 1057 01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:49,960 In that case, I'll choose Tahsin's yoga. 1058 01:00:51,719 --> 01:00:54,039 -Are you going to wear that? -Yes, of course. 1059 01:00:54,119 --> 01:00:57,400 I've worn this since primary school. It's high quality genuine, not fake. 1060 01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,400 I see. Very well. 1061 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,159 You may go in if you wish, my colleagues will assist you. 1062 01:01:02,239 --> 01:01:03,360 Thanks. 1063 01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,719 Everyone, welcome. 1064 01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:12,280 At the beginning we are going to learn the philosophy of yoga. 1065 01:01:13,159 --> 01:01:14,880 Peace be with you, master. 1066 01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:19,039 Let's all do yoga nicely and start up social relationships. 1067 01:01:20,679 --> 01:01:26,159 Shit, everyone here looks like a corpse. Why the hell did I come here? 1068 01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:29,960 Here, please sit down. 1069 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,800 One second, I'm sitting down. Thank you, master. 1070 01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:37,039 In the name of God. 1071 01:01:37,119 --> 01:01:40,840 Let us greet our new friend. 1072 01:01:42,679 --> 01:01:49,119 Okay, ladies, yoga is the art of relaxation and enlightening of the soul. 1073 01:01:49,199 --> 01:01:51,000 Is this man always relaxed like this? 1074 01:01:51,079 --> 01:01:53,840 Yes, Master Nilgün is always a calm and relaxed woman. 1075 01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:58,840 Yes, all I see is an idiot. Where are you from, young boy? 1076 01:02:00,039 --> 01:02:06,519 We'll begin by relaxing our muscles. 1077 01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:09,960 Our first movement will be the lotus position. 1078 01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:15,800 Master, don't chat shit, this is just how we sit cross-legged at home. 1079 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:18,400 No, sir, the cross-legged position you refer to 1080 01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:22,159 is how the tribesmen of Central Asia sit. 1081 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:25,960 The Lotus, however, is one of the principal positions of yoga... 1082 01:02:26,039 --> 01:02:29,320 Master, don't try and fool us with all this talk of lotus and stuff. 1083 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,320 For centuries, everyone in Anatolia sat like this. 1084 01:02:33,599 --> 01:02:39,360 Never mind, sir. Now let us move on to the second movement. 1085 01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:41,000 Shivava. 1086 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,679 Hold on, this is something else! Just one second, master, excuse me. 1087 01:02:57,760 --> 01:02:59,119 Why are you making us bend over, saying that it is 1088 01:02:59,199 --> 01:03:01,159 shivava and Central Asia? 1089 01:03:01,719 --> 01:03:03,840 This is just the position to bend over, master. 1090 01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,400 Stop talking shit, what shivava? 1091 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,159 This is just the position to bend over. 1092 01:03:09,239 --> 01:03:11,840 Please, do not interrupt, sir. 1093 01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:14,239 Master, I don't mean to interrupt, but look at the state of this Irish boy. 1094 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:19,000 My God, never again, I must repent. 1095 01:03:19,079 --> 01:03:20,480 Look at what they're forcing us to do to relax us. 1096 01:03:20,559 --> 01:03:23,480 For fuck's sake, she's just making us bend over to look at our asses. 1097 01:03:23,559 --> 01:03:25,280 Is this how I'm supposed to relax, master? 1098 01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:26,800 This is too uncomfortable, how are we supposed to relax like this? 1099 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,039 My arms are shaking all over. 1100 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:35,519 Never mind. Let's return to our lotus position 1101 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:42,000 and do some meditation to calm ourselves down. 1102 01:03:42,079 --> 01:03:45,119 God, she keeps putting me from position to position and expects me to stay calm. 1103 01:03:45,199 --> 01:03:48,039 Now let's close our eyes 1104 01:03:49,159 --> 01:03:53,239 and imagine we're in a forest. 1105 01:03:54,159 --> 01:03:58,920 Imagine the birds around us. -They're closed, master. 1106 01:03:59,519 --> 01:04:05,199 The butterflies, the flowers, we are experiencing serenity. 1107 01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:08,559 Let's sleep. 1108 01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:12,039 Let's relax. 1109 01:04:13,599 --> 01:04:15,480 Sleep. 1110 01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,519 Silence. 1111 01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,519 Forgive me, master, I fell asleep, excuse me. 1112 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:29,079 And let us release the evil spirits within us. 1113 01:04:30,599 --> 01:04:31,920 Let's release them. 1114 01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,519 Excuse me, master, you're sure you want me to release them? 1115 01:04:33,599 --> 01:04:39,440 Release Let go of the bad. 1116 01:04:43,119 --> 01:04:44,360 What the hell are you doing? 1117 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,760 You said let go of my demons, so I did just that. 1118 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:52,119 Don't do that, you've been doing it since the beginning of the class. 1119 01:04:52,199 --> 01:04:56,559 You were releasing it onto the mat. I could hear you from here. 1120 01:04:57,159 --> 01:05:00,320 What kind of guy are you, as soon as your friend gets caught, you start doing this! 1121 01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:04,519 Enough! Get out! What kind of a dirty man are you? 1122 01:05:04,599 --> 01:05:06,679 I swear to you, you'll regret this, master. 1123 01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:11,199 You think you're good or something? Look at you, with your white hair. 1124 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:15,320 You look like Adnan Şenses, it doesn't suit you at all. 1125 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:18,119 You know nothing about yoga, you know nothing at all! 1126 01:05:18,199 --> 01:05:21,800 I learned yoga from a real master. 1127 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:26,000 I got privately tutored by the 14th dalai lama in person. 1128 01:05:26,559 --> 01:05:29,519 Stop talking about masters and stuff 1129 01:05:29,599 --> 01:05:34,559 or I swear I'll introduce my shoe-sole to your face. 1130 01:05:35,519 --> 01:05:39,280 What pricks are you talking about? She's talking to all of you. 1131 01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:40,880 Didn't you hear, she said there are 14 pricks in the class. 1132 01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,679 -Look, two, four, five, 14. -Get out! 1133 01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:50,480 Piss off, you Gandalf-wannabe. Come on, Scottish boy, let's go. 1134 01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:55,159 Stand up, let's get out of here. Are you with me or not, Scotty? 1135 01:05:55,239 --> 01:05:57,679 Let's leave, you Scottish bastard. Let's get the hell out of here. 1136 01:05:58,679 --> 01:06:02,440 Fuck you. Look at the state of this place. 1137 01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:06,079 I can't tell whether this is a yoga class 1138 01:06:06,159 --> 01:06:07,679 or the morgue of Şişli-Etfal Hospital! 1139 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,960 Go on, have fun with these balls. 1140 01:06:14,599 --> 01:06:15,519 Get out! 1141 01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:17,239 Shut the hell up! 1142 01:06:28,119 --> 01:06:30,360 Hey, Hakan. Can I come in? Thanks. 1143 01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:33,480 I am in disagreement with the office workers. 1144 01:06:33,559 --> 01:06:36,119 I decided to get your advice. 1145 01:06:36,679 --> 01:06:41,000 Should the photocopied documents be in Times New Roman, 1146 01:06:41,079 --> 01:06:45,400 bold italic Verdana, Tahoma bold, Arial bold italic, 1147 01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:49,639 -or bold underlined or Times New Roman? -What on earth are you talking about? 1148 01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:55,480 Excuse me, Mr. Hakan, what shall I do with these blank invitations? 1149 01:06:55,559 --> 01:06:58,199 Fuck your blank invitations. 1150 01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,239 We're discussing something important here. Piss off! 1151 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,800 I saw you at your desk, flirting with the tea-trolley man! 1152 01:07:06,159 --> 01:07:07,760 What were those invitations for? 1153 01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:10,719 Those were invitations for the grand launch we've organized for the Japanese. 1154 01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:15,159 And tell me why I didn't also receive an invitation? 1155 01:07:15,239 --> 01:07:17,280 They're not for you, Recep. What would you do there anyway? 1156 01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:19,280 Forget it, the Japanese would just be chatting nonsense there. 1157 01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:20,599 What's more, it's an unnerving atmosphere. 1158 01:07:20,679 --> 01:07:23,800 -Why? I am the vice-boss. -You'll need to wear a tuxedo, as well. 1159 01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,440 What makes you think I don't have a tuxedo, shithead? 1160 01:07:26,519 --> 01:07:28,559 -You've got a tuxedo? -Of course, I do. 1161 01:07:28,639 --> 01:07:30,360 -A dark colored one? -Very dark. 1162 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:33,599 Fine, then. You can come, as well. 1163 01:07:33,679 --> 01:07:36,880 Good, may God be with you always. You are an intelligent man. 1164 01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:40,960 -Can I bring a friend? -Yes. 1165 01:07:41,039 --> 01:07:44,880 -He has curly hair, will it be a problem? -You can bring whoever you want. 1166 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:46,480 Thanks. May God be with you. 1167 01:07:47,679 --> 01:07:50,960 Do we have add a call back to these invitations? 1168 01:07:51,559 --> 01:07:53,039 -No. -All right. 1169 01:07:53,119 --> 01:07:57,719 Okay, thanks again. I'll see you there. Don't work too hard, you look tired. 1170 01:07:57,800 --> 01:07:59,840 You look like a raccoon. 1171 01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:18,319 Isn't there a better quality shop than this? This place is quite crap. 1172 01:08:18,399 --> 01:08:21,199 Listen, you won't find any better than this. We're in Modesan, you know. 1173 01:08:21,279 --> 01:08:22,399 This is my friend Metin's shop. 1174 01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:24,399 One day, Metin will make it real big, he'll be the market leader. 1175 01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:29,199 Hey, Recep. Welcome. 1176 01:08:30,079 --> 01:08:31,319 Peace be with you, Metin. 1177 01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:34,399 And also with you. So how can I help you? 1178 01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:38,159 Let me lay it out for you. I've got to meet some Japanese people 1179 01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:41,239 so I'll need a smart tuxedo, that'd suit the atmosphere. 1180 01:08:42,159 --> 01:08:46,159 Let me tell you something. I swear you're one lucky man. 1181 01:08:47,079 --> 01:08:50,239 We couldn't tailor such a suit even if you gave us a year to do it. 1182 01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:54,079 But I've got a Japanese suit, with some designs on the back. 1183 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:56,279 Try it on, you'll see. 1184 01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:59,600 When you enter that room, even if there are one and a half thousand in there 1185 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:02,000 -all eyes will be on you. -Give it to me, I'll try it right away. 1186 01:09:02,079 --> 01:09:07,600 -As you wish, right away. -My friend here also needs a costume. 1187 01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:09,800 We need to find him a good design, too, 1188 01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:11,079 otherwise he'll feel left out, unfortunate wretch. 1189 01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:15,920 Sure. There's a lot of clothes here. 1190 01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:20,279 It's on me, by the way. Hakan's paid my first salary, 200 liras. 1191 01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:27,079 Wow. This is one top class jacket. 1192 01:09:27,159 --> 01:09:28,560 Wonderful. 1193 01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:31,640 Its texture is excellent, but isn't it a bit too glossy? 1194 01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:35,359 Not at all. There's nothing else more original. 1195 01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:38,720 Look, it fits you perfectly. 1196 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,720 -I don't think it looks good on you. -Why would you say that, idiot? 1197 01:09:42,199 --> 01:09:44,399 You know nothing about fashion. I am a fashion expert. 1198 01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,680 What do you know about fashion? Imbecile! 1199 01:09:48,239 --> 01:09:50,560 He is the expert on fashion. Metin, get him out. 1200 01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,760 What an idiot. What kind of clothes he wears, no fashion sense at all. 1201 01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:57,479 But this is the new generation. All ignoramuses. Never listen to them. 1202 01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,920 Look here, this emblem on the chest is the badge of the Prime Minister of Japan. 1203 01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,439 Turn around. See, the same on the back. 1204 01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:08,760 Everyone is going to be awed by you. You be sure you wear it to the ball. 1205 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:26,640 Lanky, come here. 1206 01:10:27,479 --> 01:10:29,279 Now piss off. 1207 01:10:29,359 --> 01:10:31,840 Look at her, trying to show off. 1208 01:10:33,159 --> 01:10:35,640 You know, the jacket didn't look great in the shop 1209 01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:37,239 but in here it looks really good on you. 1210 01:10:37,319 --> 01:10:39,840 Look, I told you, the man was a fashion guru. 1211 01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,960 The guy told me the fabric might not look that great here 1212 01:10:43,039 --> 01:10:46,279 but when you go to that party, it'll soak up all the ambience and electricity there 1213 01:10:46,359 --> 01:10:47,720 and shine it on their faces. 1214 01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:48,760 -He was right. -Sure. 1215 01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:50,760 -Would you like some? -We would. What is it? 1216 01:10:50,840 --> 01:10:52,600 -Canapé vol-au-vents, sir. -Canapé? 1217 01:10:53,279 --> 01:10:56,119 Look at the size of the canapé, but then look at the size of my buttocks. 1218 01:10:57,359 --> 01:10:58,880 How would this size of canapé ever fill me up? 1219 01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,239 Even if you considered just one of my ass cheeks 1220 01:11:02,319 --> 01:11:03,199 the canapé would be nowhere near enough! 1221 01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:05,800 Take one. 1222 01:11:07,399 --> 01:11:08,279 I'll take some. 1223 01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:13,880 -Tastes real good. -Yes. Let's try this one, as well. 1224 01:11:15,359 --> 01:11:18,399 -Enjoy. -What is this? 1225 01:11:18,479 --> 01:11:20,119 -It is caviar, sir. -What the hell is caviar? 1226 01:11:20,199 --> 01:11:21,239 The eggs of fish. 1227 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,399 May God punish you for what you've done! 1228 01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:35,560 Piss off! Making us eat the dirtiest part of fish. 1229 01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,720 We spent a million dollars on catering in this party! 1230 01:11:38,279 --> 01:11:40,800 -The most disgusting part of the fish! -What are you doing? 1231 01:11:41,239 --> 01:11:43,880 You don't expect me to eat the shit of fish now, do you? 1232 01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:56,600 Sir, they wish to thank you for this marvelous, wonderful reception. 1233 01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:59,520 I'm the one who should thank you. You came a very long way. Thank you. 1234 01:12:02,359 --> 01:12:07,920 Hi. l am very big fun of yours. When your player for the Gullit? 1235 01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:15,800 Hi! Mrs. India! Where are you? 1236 01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:18,399 -Are you mad? -For the Kenya? 1237 01:12:22,079 --> 01:12:24,359 Meto! Look! Look at that man. 1238 01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:27,279 It's the logo of our organization. 1239 01:12:27,359 --> 01:12:29,800 Yes. 1240 01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:33,680 That guy must be the underworld boss of the Middle East! 1241 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:37,800 It must be him for sure. 1242 01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,960 Sir, they are very interested in that man over there. 1243 01:12:46,039 --> 01:12:48,520 They say they would like to make his acquaintance. 1244 01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:53,479 Recep. Over here! 1245 01:12:54,399 --> 01:12:55,920 -Me? -Come. 1246 01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:02,560 What's up, Hakan? 1247 01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:05,199 These are our Japanese clients, they wanted to make your acquaintance. 1248 01:13:05,279 --> 01:13:07,640 Hiroshi, Makato, Meto. 1249 01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:11,279 Nice to meet you Meto, pleasure to have met you, also, Makato 1250 01:13:11,359 --> 01:13:13,640 and same to you, Hiroshi. I really like the Japanese. 1251 01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:16,279 These are very respectable people. Very bold men. 1252 01:13:16,359 --> 01:13:18,000 I actually speak Japanese, very well. 1253 01:13:21,239 --> 01:13:22,479 Don't fuck me there, fuck me here. 1254 01:13:26,159 --> 01:13:27,760 What if these guys understand Turkish? 1255 01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:30,720 Look, here's another one. Shoved it in too far, had to withdraw. 1256 01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:36,560 Of course, you'd laugh like this. 1257 01:13:38,119 --> 01:13:40,319 This is Turkish joke. 1258 01:13:41,479 --> 01:13:44,960 You three are great guys, I respect you very much. 1259 01:13:45,039 --> 01:13:50,239 You are most welcome in our country. 1260 01:13:54,479 --> 01:13:57,760 Sir, they are asking for your permission to go to the bathroom. 1261 01:13:57,840 --> 01:14:01,680 They may go, but translate this well, tell them to aim properly, okay? 1262 01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:05,159 I don't want any splashes on the sides. Remind them to lift the lid, too. 1263 01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:09,640 You're turning this place into a stable. What are you playing at? 1264 01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:13,079 What do you mean? This is called human relations. Mutual human relations. 1265 01:14:13,159 --> 01:14:14,680 This is an international language, man. 1266 01:14:14,760 --> 01:14:16,479 I showed them my warmth, affection, my friendliness. 1267 01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:17,840 I showed them my Turkish side. 1268 01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,720 What nonsense are you talking, Recep? These are not your close friends. 1269 01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:23,079 The situation is awkward enough already. 1270 01:14:23,159 --> 01:14:25,920 Excuse me, but the situation is awkward only because your party is like my ass. 1271 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:29,119 I'm sorry, but you've organized this party like a funeral! 1272 01:14:29,199 --> 01:14:32,279 Look, I've spared no expenses, I even got the best DJ. 1273 01:14:32,359 --> 01:14:34,039 Everything is perfect, man. 1274 01:14:34,119 --> 01:14:38,319 A real party, the best DJ, the atmosphere wouldn't be like this. 1275 01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:42,279 You should have left it to me, entertainment, that's my job. 1276 01:14:42,359 --> 01:14:44,359 I'm begging you, Recep. Please, just stay aside. 1277 01:14:44,439 --> 01:14:49,239 Okay, you just enjoy yourself. Where's the DJ's cabin? DJ! 1278 01:14:55,079 --> 01:14:59,399 Excuse me, does your music setup 1279 01:14:59,479 --> 01:15:03,399 -have a USA memory card slot? -Yes, sir. 1280 01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:05,079 -Where? -Here. 1281 01:15:05,159 --> 01:15:07,640 Yes, it's a very beautiful slot. 1282 01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:12,159 -God! Look, they're towing away a car! -Where? 1283 01:15:12,239 --> 01:15:15,279 Look over there, is it yours? 1284 01:15:15,359 --> 01:15:18,039 -I don't know, I'll go see. -Go on, take a look, idiot. 1285 01:15:18,119 --> 01:15:19,239 They're taking your car. What an idiot. 1286 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:26,760 His IQ is zero. All right, let's see. 1287 01:15:33,319 --> 01:15:36,800 Music out, the other CD in. 1288 01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:52,279 Dance! 1289 01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:01,439 Yes! This is real fun. 1290 01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:39,159 Sir, they cannot accept the campaign launch in October. 1291 01:17:39,239 --> 01:17:42,319 They say they cannot sign to these conditions. 1292 01:17:42,399 --> 01:17:44,920 But we've already discussed the terms of the agreement. 1293 01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,960 Why have they changed their minds now? Ask them. 1294 01:18:01,199 --> 01:18:05,479 Come on. Do it for me. 1295 01:18:08,279 --> 01:18:09,279 Please go and shut him up. 1296 01:18:09,359 --> 01:18:12,119 Come on, come to daddy. 1297 01:18:12,199 --> 01:18:15,359 Run to me. 1298 01:18:15,439 --> 01:18:19,319 Mr. Recep, a little quiet, please. There's a meeting going on inside at the moment. 1299 01:18:19,399 --> 01:18:22,199 If there is a meeting, you should have called me, as well. 1300 01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:31,359 Sit down, it's alright. These Japanese kids are really respectable chaps. 1301 01:18:31,439 --> 01:18:32,680 What's going on here, Hakan? 1302 01:18:32,760 --> 01:18:35,920 -We are in a meeting right now. -So why didn't you call me? 1303 01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:37,399 Am I not the vice-boss? 1304 01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:39,399 Look, everything is already messed up as it is. 1305 01:18:39,479 --> 01:18:41,920 -What the hell's happened? -They don't want to sign the agreement. 1306 01:18:42,239 --> 01:18:44,680 What, they're refusing to sign? 1307 01:18:46,079 --> 01:18:48,479 Don't worry, I'll sort it. Stand aside, stay back. 1308 01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:54,840 What is the problem? 1309 01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:03,560 Takashi, Makat? Hiroshi? 1310 01:19:06,399 --> 01:19:09,520 What the fuck is your problem? You think you're too good or something? 1311 01:19:12,279 --> 01:19:13,840 Huh? Have you come all the way here to play around with us? 1312 01:19:16,039 --> 01:19:17,840 You bastards, you've been eating and drinking our food for three days 1313 01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:20,279 and you're staying free of charge at a top hotel, thanks to him! 1314 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:23,960 These guys have been working on this deal for four months! 1315 01:19:25,159 --> 01:19:26,560 So what's your problem? 1316 01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:28,600 Be real men. 1317 01:19:29,479 --> 01:19:31,439 Be real men and make sure you don't piss me off! 1318 01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:35,560 I swear, I'll break your bones! 1319 01:19:36,560 --> 01:19:41,479 I swear I'll shove my shoes in your face, so don't make me mad! 1320 01:19:43,239 --> 01:19:47,800 Look, he's my cousin. Anything you do to him, you do to me. 1321 01:19:49,359 --> 01:19:50,800 In my opinion, I think we should sign. 1322 01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:52,279 Quick, he's the master. We simply must sign right away. 1323 01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:55,119 Get on with it, translate what I said, they have ten seconds to sign. 1324 01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:02,199 That's it, now we're in harmony. 1325 01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:05,399 You see, if we can apply like this we can have harmonization across all of Europe. 1326 01:20:05,479 --> 01:20:09,239 If you wish, we could have mutual relations. 1327 01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:13,399 We could meet many times, we could even go see you in Tokyo. 1328 01:20:13,479 --> 01:20:14,560 You could come here, too. We'd arrange marriages, 1329 01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:18,079 get some new relations between our families. Is that okay, Hakan? 1330 01:20:18,159 --> 01:20:20,319 They signed, I'm not dreaming, am I? 1331 01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:23,079 -Yes, of course, they signed. -Recep, you're a genius. 1332 01:20:23,159 --> 01:20:25,199 Idiot, don't make daft gestures. 1333 01:20:25,279 --> 01:20:27,479 They are giants in their sector, market leaders. We've got them on our side. 1334 01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:31,199 If it weren't for me you would have humiliated us in front of these giants. 1335 01:20:31,279 --> 01:20:36,079 Move your arm, idiot, do you want to get it broken? Keep working hard. 1336 01:20:36,479 --> 01:20:39,640 -Send my shoes to my office afterwards. -Is that really their signature? 1337 01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:41,720 It is my utmost pleasure to invite to the stage 1338 01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:43,800 the owner of the Alaaddin Advertising Company. 1339 01:20:43,880 --> 01:20:48,920 The company that signed the biggest advertising contract of the year. 1340 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,279 Hakan İvedik. 1341 01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:53,079 Good job, boss. 1342 01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:58,720 Go forth, man! 1343 01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:05,079 Thank you very much. It's nice to see you all here. 1344 01:21:06,039 --> 01:21:08,640 Our company has become a world leader 1345 01:21:08,720 --> 01:21:10,239 in a very short amount of time. 1346 01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:14,399 But the real architect of this achievement is my brother, my cousin 1347 01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:18,359 my business partner, Recep İvedik. 1348 01:21:19,479 --> 01:21:21,720 For this reason, I think that Recep İvedik should be taking this stage instead of me. 1349 01:21:22,279 --> 01:21:23,720 Recep, could you please come up here? 1350 01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:26,680 No, Hakan, sort it out yourself, don't get me involved in this, please. 1351 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:28,399 Please, Recep, don't disappoint us. 1352 01:21:28,479 --> 01:21:30,479 Let's all give him a round of applause, for encouragement. 1353 01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:34,880 Stop clapping! I said stop clapping, idiots! 1354 01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:38,199 Thank you. May God be with you all. 1355 01:21:46,279 --> 01:21:49,520 -Wait till I... -God, a dead cat! 1356 01:21:50,279 --> 01:21:51,800 I'll break your bones. 1357 01:21:53,159 --> 01:21:54,159 Excuse me. 1358 01:22:00,479 --> 01:22:02,960 And here he is, Recep İvedik. 1359 01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:08,199 But what the hell should I say? What the fuck am I going to talk about? 1360 01:22:08,279 --> 01:22:11,640 Just talk about globalization, about the economy, come on you'll be fine. 1361 01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:13,199 All right then. Get lost now. 1362 01:22:14,279 --> 01:22:17,840 Yes, I greet you all with respect. 1363 01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:23,079 First of all, I must say it surprises me 1364 01:22:23,159 --> 01:22:26,279 to see so many bigwigs in Istanbul. 1365 01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:29,199 You're all like beads on a string. Be like real men. 1366 01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:36,800 I'll tell you about a philosophy which I've followed since childhood. 1367 01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:39,000 The grasshopper and the ant. 1368 01:22:39,680 --> 01:22:42,359 The grasshopper and the ant were in the field, when 1369 01:22:42,439 --> 01:22:44,600 the ant said listen well, because 1370 01:22:44,680 --> 01:22:46,279 of global warming caused by globalization 1371 01:22:46,359 --> 01:22:49,199 the dollar will surge and the price of a barrel of oil will fall. 1372 01:22:49,279 --> 01:22:51,680 So be clever and work hard. 1373 01:22:52,239 --> 01:22:55,479 The grasshopper responded, what do you know? You live under the ground. 1374 01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:58,800 You live in a little hole, all you do is carry the shit of people 1375 01:22:58,880 --> 01:23:01,600 to your house. Why should I listen to you? 1376 01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:04,479 You swim in people's saliva as though it were a swimming pool, get lost! 1377 01:23:04,560 --> 01:23:07,279 The ant replied we will see. And then he left. 1378 01:23:07,359 --> 01:23:10,079 The winter came, and one day the ant was having a sex party in his house 1379 01:23:10,159 --> 01:23:12,399 with about 25 of his friends, boys and girls. They were having fun. 1380 01:23:12,479 --> 01:23:14,479 When suddenly someone knocked at the door. 1381 01:23:14,560 --> 01:23:17,399 He opened the door and saw the grasshopper there, exhausted. 1382 01:23:17,479 --> 01:23:21,800 Do you remember, said the ant, in the summer when I spoke with you in the field? 1383 01:23:21,880 --> 01:23:25,439 Would you be kind to give me some rice and a box of butter, asked the grasshopper. 1384 01:23:25,520 --> 01:23:29,800 The ant replied, you are truly an idiot 1385 01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:32,359 a dishonorable wretch. 1386 01:23:32,720 --> 01:23:34,600 I warned you, he said. 1387 01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:37,399 Remember, when I was carrying a sunflower seed on my back, I warned you. 1388 01:23:37,479 --> 01:23:41,960 I warned you, didn't I, he said. If I hadn't I wouldn't 1389 01:23:42,039 --> 01:23:42,920 get this angry, you bastard! 1390 01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:45,439 The grasshopper replied, what the fuck are you shouting for? 1391 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,079 Don't piss me off, I'm really not in the mood for it. 1392 01:23:48,159 --> 01:23:50,600 The ant replied, get the fuck out of here or, 1393 01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:52,199 I swear to God, I'll call the raccoons. 1394 01:23:52,279 --> 01:23:53,960 Fuck off, said the grasshopper. 1395 01:23:54,039 --> 01:23:57,319 He grabbed the ant's antennae, and broke his hind leg 1396 01:23:57,399 --> 01:23:59,439 there was a terrible fight, with blood flowing everywhere. 1397 01:24:00,119 --> 01:24:02,479 It went on till the evening. 1398 01:24:02,560 --> 01:24:04,840 Anyway, I don't know why I told you all this, but in the end, to conclude 1399 01:24:05,439 --> 01:24:11,600 as they say, the seals are very lonely. 1400 01:24:12,159 --> 01:24:14,399 In short, I feel most aggrieved. 1401 01:24:14,479 --> 01:24:19,520 In a world where we lose 45 cm of glacier ice every day, damn it all. 1402 01:24:20,279 --> 01:24:22,399 I'm telling you, it's fucked up. 1403 01:24:22,479 --> 01:24:23,960 I have one principle. 1404 01:24:25,039 --> 01:24:31,840 Listen well, before the wheat begins to bud, the blind calf does not limp. 1405 01:25:06,960 --> 01:25:10,960 I salute you all with utmost respect. 1406 01:25:11,680 --> 01:25:14,399 1 - Get a job 2 - Marriage 3 - Respect 1407 01:25:18,640 --> 01:25:19,600 Take the photos. 1408 01:25:45,279 --> 01:25:48,720 Bastard, you've been using my phrases again? 1409 01:25:48,800 --> 01:25:50,520 But those words are mine, grandma. 1410 01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:54,680 Before the wheat begins to bud, the blind calf does not limp. 1411 01:25:54,760 --> 01:25:56,000 These are my words. 1412 01:25:56,079 --> 01:25:59,479 God, it's so difficult to satisfy you. Look, I've bought you a PlayStation 3. 1413 01:25:59,560 --> 01:26:03,640 Okay, you got me a PS3, but I want a high definition TV, as well. 1414 01:26:04,199 --> 01:26:06,399 All right, I'll buy you a television in high definition. 1415 01:26:06,479 --> 01:26:08,560 Good. And what have you done about your girl problem? 1416 01:26:08,640 --> 01:26:11,600 One thing at a time, grandma. I can't do everything at once! 1417 01:26:11,680 --> 01:26:14,119 When are you going to get married? When will you find a nice girl? 1418 01:26:14,199 --> 01:26:15,600 When are you going to show her to me? 1419 01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:18,000 I'll show you the girl when I bring your television. 1420 01:26:18,079 --> 01:26:20,600 Come, let me fuck you over at a game of PS. 1421 01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:22,279 Quick, get over here. You've spoken enough. 1422 01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:25,640 All right, let's play on the PS3. Let me just install it first. 1423 01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:28,079 Okay, but we'll see who's going to get fucked over by who. 1424 01:26:28,640 --> 01:26:31,479 Maybe I'll fuck you over twice and you might once. Get a move on. 1425 01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:48,720 -Why the hell did you bring me here? -Golf is a lifestyle. 1426 01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:51,159 It's time for you to learn new things like this. 1427 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:55,319 Is this game based on Turkish cricket? 1428 01:26:55,399 --> 01:26:57,279 Not really. Let me just show you how it's done. 1429 01:26:58,520 --> 01:27:02,399 Now, look, the feet should be parallel to the ball like this. 1430 01:27:02,479 --> 01:27:04,640 -Like this? -No, no not like that. 1431 01:27:04,720 --> 01:27:06,520 -Turn them a bit this way. -Like this? 1432 01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:07,880 No. A bit more to the right. Parallel. 1433 01:27:07,960 --> 01:27:09,000 Like this? 1434 01:27:09,079 --> 01:27:12,399 Yes, that's good. Now bend your thighs a little. 1435 01:27:12,479 --> 01:27:14,399 Good. Splendid. 1436 01:27:14,479 --> 01:27:16,159 You mean the shit-taking position. 1437 01:27:16,239 --> 01:27:19,520 Well, not quite. Raise your chest a bit more. 1438 01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:21,600 Keep your chest upright. 1439 01:27:21,680 --> 01:27:23,520 -What the hell are you doing? -Recep, a bit higher. 1440 01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:26,359 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 1441 01:27:26,439 --> 01:27:27,600 I'm just showing you. 1442 01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:30,399 How can someone hump their own cousin pretending to teach him! 1443 01:27:30,479 --> 01:27:32,199 Recep, I'm just trying to teach you to play golf here. 1444 01:27:32,279 --> 01:27:34,800 You brought me to this quiet field to teach me golf 1445 01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:37,079 but you're humping me! You worthless prick! 1446 01:27:37,159 --> 01:27:39,199 You might as well take me into the forest while you're at it! 1447 01:27:39,279 --> 01:27:40,760 Look, people are staring, keep it down. 1448 01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:43,960 Move the fuck away! Get into your little green square! 1449 01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:46,279 If you think you know so much, just do it yourself. For God's sake! 1450 01:27:46,840 --> 01:27:48,119 Just watch me, you idiot. 1451 01:27:53,840 --> 01:27:56,640 What happened there, shithead? 1452 01:27:57,600 --> 01:28:00,520 My grandfather was one of the best golfers around, he used to play on a horse. 1453 01:28:00,600 --> 01:28:02,960 He used to throw it like this, from the horse. 1454 01:28:03,439 --> 01:28:06,479 This game was passed down from our forefathers! 1455 01:28:06,560 --> 01:28:08,560 I'll be at the 14th. I'll wait for you there. 1456 01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:11,119 I've been playing for eight years, and I've never hit it as far as that. 1457 01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:14,760 I can't believe it. I will never play golf again. 1458 01:28:25,079 --> 01:28:27,079 -What are you doing? -Move the fuck out of the way! 1459 01:28:27,159 --> 01:28:30,079 -I'm trying to take a shot here. -Stand aside. 1460 01:28:30,159 --> 01:28:31,760 Does this field belong to your father or something? 1461 01:28:31,840 --> 01:28:33,880 Are you looking for a fight? 1462 01:28:34,479 --> 01:28:35,960 -Just get out of my face. -Just fuck off to the side! 1463 01:28:36,039 --> 01:28:39,840 -We're playing golf, can't you see? -My car needs to go through here! 1464 01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:44,479 -Calm down. - I'll smash your head with this lever. 1465 01:28:44,560 --> 01:28:49,199 I swear, I'm going to break your bones with this lever! 1466 01:28:49,279 --> 01:28:53,199 -Recep, what are you doing? -What's your problem? 1467 01:28:53,279 --> 01:28:56,279 Recep. We're on a golf course, what are you doing? 1468 01:28:56,359 --> 01:29:00,199 I've told you politely! I'll just split your head in two, like this. 1469 01:29:00,760 --> 01:29:03,359 This is a golf course. You can't fight here. 1470 01:29:03,439 --> 01:29:05,399 You think you're a hero or something? 1471 01:29:05,479 --> 01:29:06,399 Sorry. 1472 01:29:15,560 --> 01:29:17,680 Mate, I'm in deep shit with my grandmother you know. 1473 01:29:17,760 --> 01:29:19,760 Just because I look like this, don't think I've got it easy. 1474 01:29:19,840 --> 01:29:21,359 Grandma's really old though. 1475 01:29:22,079 --> 01:29:24,720 She might be old, but her brain functions really well. 1476 01:29:25,319 --> 01:29:31,359 She just keeps yelling at me to get a job and be respected 1477 01:29:31,439 --> 01:29:34,600 and now to get married. I'm under huge pressure you know. 1478 01:29:36,479 --> 01:29:39,560 Everything will be fine. One day, a girl will turn up and you'll get married. 1479 01:29:39,640 --> 01:29:42,079 You know, it was your help that I managed to get a job. 1480 01:29:42,159 --> 01:29:43,800 The same goes for how I gained respect. 1481 01:29:43,880 --> 01:29:46,279 All that's left is to find one girl, we need to find a solution. 1482 01:29:46,359 --> 01:29:48,079 Don't worry about it. 1483 01:29:49,119 --> 01:29:51,600 -You like the tomato? -Very nice. Is it a village tomato? 1484 01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:53,840 No, it's not from the village, it's organic. 1485 01:29:54,359 --> 01:29:56,560 I paid 35 liras per kilo for them. 1486 01:29:56,640 --> 01:29:59,079 I always eat organic food. 1487 01:29:59,720 --> 01:30:03,079 If you had brought a Swiss-knife, we could have cut it into pieces. 1488 01:30:03,159 --> 01:30:05,079 What do you need a Swiss-knife for? Rid yourself of these posh tendencies. 1489 01:30:05,680 --> 01:30:08,039 You just take the tomato and put your fist in, like this. 1490 01:30:08,119 --> 01:30:09,680 That's how it's done. Here. 1491 01:30:17,720 --> 01:30:19,359 -What is this? -Sorry. 1492 01:30:20,039 --> 01:30:23,239 Go play somewhere else! Go, move to another field! 1493 01:30:23,319 --> 01:30:24,399 Calm down. 1494 01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:28,119 We're having a nice picnic here and you're chucking balls at our heads! 1495 01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:30,760 If it comes here one more time, I swear I'll cut your balls off! 1496 01:30:31,159 --> 01:30:32,520 I swear I'll just chop them off! 1497 01:30:34,439 --> 01:30:35,399 Piss off! 1498 01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:37,920 Are you crazy? 1499 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:42,199 Stop making gestures from there! You'll get an egg chucked on your head. 1500 01:30:43,479 --> 01:30:45,119 I'll lob tomatoes on your heads! 1501 01:30:45,199 --> 01:30:48,079 -Recep, calm down. -Don't make me mad! 1502 01:30:56,239 --> 01:30:58,079 -Ali Kerem? -Yes, my dear. 1503 01:30:58,159 --> 01:31:00,039 I'm having a birthday party this weekend. Are you coming? 1504 01:31:00,119 --> 01:31:01,239 Of course I am, I wouldn't miss it. 1505 01:31:01,319 --> 01:31:03,800 It's a fancy dress party. You have to wear peculiar costumes. 1506 01:31:03,880 --> 01:31:04,960 -I will. -Fine, see you there. 1507 01:31:05,039 --> 01:31:09,119 Look, can I come, too? 1508 01:31:09,720 --> 01:31:11,800 -Shall we go? -She didn't invite me. 1509 01:31:12,239 --> 01:31:14,960 -There'll be some interesting girls there. -Look, I'm not invited. 1510 01:31:15,039 --> 01:31:17,199 -I'm not invited. -So what, we'll still go. 1511 01:31:17,600 --> 01:31:19,199 But she didn't invite me to the party. 1512 01:31:19,279 --> 01:31:21,600 -Whatever, we can still go. -Why the fuck are you rubbing it in? 1513 01:31:22,439 --> 01:31:27,359 Fucking rubbing it in my face, just because you got invited and I didn't! 1514 01:31:28,319 --> 01:31:31,600 -We'll copy the invitation. -Shut up, don't come near me. 1515 01:31:32,399 --> 01:31:33,439 Curly haired monkey! 1516 01:32:03,279 --> 01:32:05,720 Not only did you force me to come to this party uninvited, 1517 01:32:05,800 --> 01:32:07,880 but also you make me come disguised as a rabbit. 1518 01:32:07,960 --> 01:32:09,079 Where's your head? 1519 01:32:09,159 --> 01:32:11,600 Don't get angry. You actually look quite cute in that. 1520 01:32:12,439 --> 01:32:15,319 God, give me patience. 1521 01:32:15,399 --> 01:32:18,039 Look, go and chat with those girls. There's so many of them there. 1522 01:32:18,119 --> 01:32:19,600 -Where? -Over there. 1523 01:32:20,119 --> 01:32:21,399 -Those are girls? -Yes. 1524 01:32:21,479 --> 01:32:24,399 These things you call girls, all I see is an elephant, a monkey 1525 01:32:24,479 --> 01:32:26,079 and even an orangutan! 1526 01:32:26,159 --> 01:32:28,199 So what, and you're a rabbit. You'll get along just fine. 1527 01:32:29,199 --> 01:32:31,479 I'll just give you a slap across the face and you'll see how fine I am. 1528 01:32:31,560 --> 01:32:33,760 Get with the mood. Be a bit more sociable. 1529 01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:36,199 Shut up, idiot, don't teach me how to be sociable. 1530 01:32:36,279 --> 01:32:37,279 I know how to start my own relationships. 1531 01:32:46,399 --> 01:32:48,399 Hey you, you're Snow White? 1532 01:32:48,479 --> 01:32:53,640 Listen, make sure you don't eat anything that witch gives you, understand? 1533 01:32:53,720 --> 01:32:56,399 Don't forget, if she tries giving you an apple, it'll be toxic. 1534 01:32:56,479 --> 01:32:59,680 Observe carefully the source of the fruit. 1535 01:32:59,760 --> 01:33:01,399 I'll smash your face in and take your eyes out! 1536 01:33:01,479 --> 01:33:05,159 I saw you in the movie. I know what you're up to! 1537 01:33:05,239 --> 01:33:07,800 Madam, I'm in a spot of bother with this costume 1538 01:33:07,880 --> 01:33:10,199 would you please be able to measure my blood pressure? 1539 01:33:10,279 --> 01:33:11,399 -Okay, I will. -Go on. 1540 01:33:11,479 --> 01:33:13,840 -Very high. -Very high, isn't it? 1541 01:33:13,920 --> 01:33:18,000 -Your heart's beating real fast, as well. -It must be because of the view. 1542 01:33:18,079 --> 01:33:20,600 Can you measure my diastole, as well? 1543 01:33:20,680 --> 01:33:23,600 Do I have to tell you where to measure that? 1544 01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:32,159 Two grilled cheese sandwiches and a small cup of tea. 1545 01:33:32,239 --> 01:33:34,479 Go on, quickly now! Hurry and bring it to me. 1546 01:33:35,159 --> 01:33:38,560 Give unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar. Get the fuck out of here, knob. 1547 01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:41,079 -Your costume really suits you. -Thanks, yours, too. 1548 01:33:41,159 --> 01:33:42,960 You're a genuine ass-giver, right? Piss off! 1549 01:33:43,039 --> 01:33:45,359 How dare you punch? Piss off. 1550 01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:47,439 Fucking nuisance. 1551 01:33:47,520 --> 01:33:48,560 Mona Lisa? 1552 01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:51,600 Mary Claire? 1553 01:33:53,479 --> 01:33:54,399 Marilyn Manson? 1554 01:33:55,319 --> 01:33:56,239 Marilyn Monroe. 1555 01:33:57,479 --> 01:34:00,439 It's true you had an affair with Einstein, isn't it? 1556 01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:04,319 -No. -Is it true he fucked you? 1557 01:34:05,119 --> 01:34:08,640 Aren't you ashamed of yourself, walking around like a clown? Piss off, get lost. 1558 01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:10,159 Look at him. Trying to hit on Marilyn Monroe. 1559 01:34:13,840 --> 01:34:16,079 So an American wrestler? 1560 01:34:16,479 --> 01:34:18,880 If it's American wrestling that you want, that's what you'll get! 1561 01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:30,880 I can take anyone! 1562 01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:51,279 I swear I can't take any more of this. 1563 01:34:51,359 --> 01:34:54,000 Where's that bastard, Ali Kerem? 1564 01:34:54,520 --> 01:34:57,359 God! I'll break your bones, I swear! 1565 01:34:58,479 --> 01:35:00,000 Why are you hitting me? It's me. 1566 01:35:00,079 --> 01:35:02,399 Why the hell are you trying to scare me? 1567 01:35:02,479 --> 01:35:03,960 What's to be scared? My costume's like this. 1568 01:35:04,279 --> 01:35:06,800 Idiot, you don't need to wear a costume to look like a monkey. 1569 01:35:06,880 --> 01:35:10,640 Your face already looks like a baboon's. Shithead. 1570 01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:13,399 How's it going, Ali Kerem? Love your costume. 1571 01:35:13,479 --> 01:35:14,399 Thanks. 1572 01:35:14,920 --> 01:35:16,399 Your costume is really nice, too. 1573 01:35:16,479 --> 01:35:18,000 Thank you. 1574 01:35:18,479 --> 01:35:21,520 -What is it? A grizzly bear, isn't it? -Does this look like a grizzly bear? 1575 01:35:21,600 --> 01:35:23,720 Look what I've got on my head. Look. Two long ears on the head. 1576 01:35:23,800 --> 01:35:25,960 Look at my ass, look at the fluffy tail. 1577 01:35:26,039 --> 01:35:27,159 Look, my palms are white. 1578 01:35:27,239 --> 01:35:28,720 Where the fuck have you ever seen a grizzly bear like this? 1579 01:35:29,079 --> 01:35:32,279 I'm sorry, but when I saw your face I thought you were a bear. 1580 01:35:32,640 --> 01:35:33,600 Shut the fuck up! 1581 01:35:34,199 --> 01:35:35,319 Shut up! 1582 01:35:35,399 --> 01:35:37,399 She looks at me and thinks I'm a bear. 1583 01:35:37,479 --> 01:35:40,079 When I saw you, I thought you were a retard. You dumb fuck. 1584 01:35:40,159 --> 01:35:42,279 Look at her hair, looks like a table lamp. 1585 01:35:42,359 --> 01:35:45,720 We might as well put on a couple of candles to light at night. Retard. 1586 01:35:46,279 --> 01:35:50,520 Get lost! Disgrace! 1587 01:35:50,600 --> 01:35:52,279 -Calm down, it's okay. -Animal! 1588 01:35:56,560 --> 01:35:59,880 Pick it up. My hands are busy. 1589 01:36:01,079 --> 01:36:03,920 -What? -Hello, Recep, it's your grandmother. 1590 01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:06,399 -Yes, grandma. -There's too much noise. 1591 01:36:06,479 --> 01:36:08,760 I can't hear you. Where are you, you good-for-nothing? 1592 01:36:08,840 --> 01:36:11,399 Grandma, forgive me, I'm at a costume party. 1593 01:36:11,479 --> 01:36:12,800 I'm here with my future wife. 1594 01:36:12,880 --> 01:36:15,520 Her family organized it so we could get to know each other. 1595 01:36:16,119 --> 01:36:17,600 The girl's whole family are animals. 1596 01:36:17,680 --> 01:36:20,479 I'm not well at all, I think my time has come. Hurry. 1597 01:36:20,560 --> 01:36:23,159 -Where are you? -I'm on the way to the hospital, my son. 1598 01:36:23,239 --> 01:36:27,399 -Which hospital are you going to? -Which hospital? 1599 01:36:27,479 --> 01:36:30,720 -Numune Hospital. -She says we're going to Numune Hospital. 1600 01:36:30,800 --> 01:36:34,079 Okay, hang up, I'm coming right away. 1601 01:36:34,640 --> 01:36:36,399 Bring my future daughter-in-law. 1602 01:36:36,479 --> 01:36:37,760 -Lie back, madam. -Shut the hell up! 1603 01:36:37,840 --> 01:36:41,439 Bring my future daughter-in-law, otherwise, I'll never forgive you. 1604 01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:44,399 Fine, I'll bring her. 1605 01:36:44,479 --> 01:36:47,399 Please, don't worry, just make sure you get well. All right, hang up. 1606 01:36:47,479 --> 01:36:50,079 Never mind, Recep, keep talking, I'm using the nurse's telephone. 1607 01:36:50,159 --> 01:36:53,079 The bill will go up her ass, not ours. 1608 01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:55,239 -Madam? -What? 1609 01:36:55,319 --> 01:36:57,199 -I'll take my phone back, please. -You can't have it. 1610 01:36:57,279 --> 01:37:00,560 It's just a few liras, why are you so worried, you she-devil? 1611 01:37:01,439 --> 01:37:03,920 -What happened? -Something really bad. 1612 01:37:04,000 --> 01:37:07,079 Where's Hakan? Take this shit off your face! 1613 01:37:07,159 --> 01:37:09,279 Walking around with a Z across his face. Something bad has happened. 1614 01:37:09,359 --> 01:37:12,279 -They're taking grandma to hospital. -All right, let's get going, quick. 1615 01:37:12,359 --> 01:37:13,600 Yes we must go urgently. 1616 01:37:13,680 --> 01:37:16,279 But I also told grandma I'd bring my future wife with me, as well. 1617 01:37:16,359 --> 01:37:19,159 -Shit, where'll we find a girl now? -No idea. 1618 01:37:20,119 --> 01:37:22,159 We need to go there with someone we know and trust. 1619 01:37:22,600 --> 01:37:23,600 Yes. 1620 01:37:23,680 --> 01:37:26,079 I've got one or two ideas, Ali Kerem. 1621 01:37:26,159 --> 01:37:28,640 -What's that then? -I've got a very excellent idea. 1622 01:37:29,199 --> 01:37:30,399 Hakan, come with me. 1623 01:37:38,640 --> 01:37:41,079 What on earth are you wearing? 1624 01:37:41,159 --> 01:37:43,000 Grandma, I'm now with high class society. 1625 01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:46,680 To show their wealth, they cover the whole body with fur. 1626 01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:50,600 Hakan, what is that costume you're wearing? 1627 01:37:50,680 --> 01:37:51,920 Have you joined a religious sect? 1628 01:37:53,359 --> 01:37:56,039 No, grandma, they gave me a cloak because I was feeling a bit cold. 1629 01:37:57,479 --> 01:38:00,760 Have you brought me my daughter-in-law? 1630 01:38:01,319 --> 01:38:04,159 Grandma, when have I ever let you down? 1631 01:38:04,239 --> 01:38:06,800 I always do what you ask, so, of course, I brought her. 1632 01:38:06,880 --> 01:38:08,760 Come here, my dear, let me introduce you to my grandmother. 1633 01:38:08,840 --> 01:38:12,079 Come my beautiful, my love. 1634 01:38:12,159 --> 01:38:14,399 -I hope you get well soon, grandma. -What is this, what an ugly girl! 1635 01:38:14,479 --> 01:38:17,079 Is this the best you could find, my son? 1636 01:38:17,159 --> 01:38:19,399 She might be a bit ugly, but what could I do? It's love 1637 01:38:19,479 --> 01:38:20,920 and love can land on a piece of shit and still affect the heart. 1638 01:38:21,479 --> 01:38:23,279 But this one is even worse than shit! 1639 01:38:23,359 --> 01:38:25,600 -I'm getting upset. -Don't say that front of grandma. 1640 01:38:25,680 --> 01:38:27,560 Otherwise I'll punch you so hard you'll fly into intensive care. 1641 01:38:28,239 --> 01:38:31,119 Isn't that so, my love? 1642 01:38:32,600 --> 01:38:36,119 I want you to do one last thing. This is my last wish. 1643 01:38:36,199 --> 01:38:39,960 Tell me, grandma, I'm always ready to do whatever you ask. 1644 01:38:40,760 --> 01:38:43,000 -You know that mahogany chest? -Yes, I know it. 1645 01:38:43,079 --> 01:38:45,760 -You know that mahogany chest. -Yes, the mahogany chest. 1646 01:38:47,319 --> 01:38:50,800 The poor woman has passed on! Grandma! 1647 01:38:53,680 --> 01:38:54,720 She came back. 1648 01:38:54,800 --> 01:38:58,159 -There's a mahogany chest. -Yes, the mahogany chest, I got it. 1649 01:38:58,720 --> 01:39:03,000 -That mahogany chest, Recep. -I know, tell me the rest of it! 1650 01:39:05,239 --> 01:39:06,199 Good God! 1651 01:39:06,279 --> 01:39:09,520 She says mahogany chest and goes to the other world without finishing! 1652 01:39:09,600 --> 01:39:11,359 Grandma! 1653 01:39:13,640 --> 01:39:15,239 Look, she's back again, she's alive. 1654 01:39:15,880 --> 01:39:18,399 -The mahogany chest... -Look, I swear I'll stop the serum now, 1655 01:39:18,479 --> 01:39:20,560 tell me quickly what's in that mahogany chest. 1656 01:39:20,640 --> 01:39:23,439 Recep, you know, the mahogany chest. 1657 01:39:23,520 --> 01:39:25,399 I got it, there's a mahogany chest! 1658 01:39:25,479 --> 01:39:27,720 Finish your sentence for the love of God! 1659 01:39:27,800 --> 01:39:29,159 I hope it goes up your ass! 1660 01:39:31,800 --> 01:39:33,199 You see, she insulted me. 1661 01:39:33,279 --> 01:39:34,800 She made her last joke. 1662 01:39:34,880 --> 01:39:37,159 She's attached the mahogany chest to my ass and left. 1663 01:39:37,479 --> 01:39:40,720 Stop staring, quickly, go get the doctors! 1664 01:39:40,800 --> 01:39:44,319 Doctor! Isn't there a doctor around? 1665 01:39:44,920 --> 01:39:46,760 Doctor! 1666 01:39:46,840 --> 01:39:48,920 Come on, see if you can save her! 1667 01:39:49,000 --> 01:39:55,920 Are you going to save my grandma, doctor? 1668 01:40:32,560 --> 01:40:35,960 What a bastard. He must have crushed the poor woman. 1669 01:40:39,840 --> 01:40:41,760 God. 1670 01:40:42,920 --> 01:40:44,000 Does it smell of feet? 1671 01:40:46,359 --> 01:40:47,239 No. 1672 01:40:50,680 --> 01:40:52,359 My dear grandma. 1673 01:40:53,399 --> 01:40:56,520 She was always sitting on this sofa. She would play PlayStation here. 1674 01:40:59,920 --> 01:41:01,239 She was always looking out for me. 1675 01:41:02,920 --> 01:41:04,359 She always desired me to be successful. 1676 01:41:09,880 --> 01:41:11,399 The poor woman, she didn't have a single tooth left in her mouth, 1677 01:41:11,479 --> 01:41:12,359 she used to speak like this. 1678 01:41:13,760 --> 01:41:15,239 Just like a chicken. 1679 01:41:19,079 --> 01:41:24,079 Look, she made me write down a list of the things she wanted me to do. 1680 01:41:26,359 --> 01:41:28,880 I got the job. I got the respectability. 1681 01:41:30,720 --> 01:41:33,399 But now I have no need to make a family. 1682 01:41:35,600 --> 01:41:37,680 In truth, my grandma was my only family. 1683 01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:41,199 Stop the nonsense, Recep, are we not family? 1684 01:41:41,640 --> 01:41:44,000 -Who are we? What is your last name? -İvedik. 1685 01:41:44,079 --> 01:41:45,680 -And what's mine? -İvedik. 1686 01:41:45,760 --> 01:41:47,399 We are the İvediks. No one can hold us back. 1687 01:41:47,479 --> 01:41:49,399 We'll manage the company together. 1688 01:41:49,479 --> 01:41:50,760 I'm always at your side. End of story. 1689 01:41:51,520 --> 01:41:54,000 Don't bullshit, Hakan. I don't want to hold you behind. 1690 01:41:54,079 --> 01:41:56,840 No, Recep, nothing will happen to us, don't worry. 1691 01:41:56,920 --> 01:41:59,359 Yes. He's right. I'm with you, too. 1692 01:42:01,800 --> 01:42:05,119 Easy. Eat slowly! 1693 01:42:05,199 --> 01:42:06,880 Don't put it there, move it! 1694 01:42:06,960 --> 01:42:09,640 Putting the dish on the mahogany chest! 1695 01:42:09,720 --> 01:42:12,159 Putting the dish on my grandmother's mahogany chest! 1696 01:42:12,239 --> 01:42:14,520 -Sorry. -You shameless! 1697 01:42:16,359 --> 01:42:18,640 You curly-haired wannabe clown! 1698 01:42:21,560 --> 01:42:24,800 -My condolences. -Thank you, thanks for your support. 1699 01:42:24,880 --> 01:42:26,600 Thank you. That's a very nice scarf. 1700 01:42:26,680 --> 01:42:28,199 -My condolences. -Thank you. 1701 01:42:28,279 --> 01:42:30,199 Thank you. Same to you. What's your height? 1702 01:42:30,279 --> 01:42:32,319 Thanks. Say hello to Mehmet from me. 1703 01:42:32,399 --> 01:42:33,600 -My condolences. -Say hi to your son. 1704 01:42:33,680 --> 01:42:37,479 Thank you. Amen. Thank you, aunt. 1705 01:42:38,800 --> 01:42:40,079 -My condolences. -Thanks. 1706 01:42:40,159 --> 01:42:43,199 Thank you all. 1707 01:42:43,279 --> 01:42:46,199 Is that a noise? Were you here? Sorry, didn't see you there. 1708 01:42:46,279 --> 01:42:48,239 Thank you. 1709 01:42:48,319 --> 01:42:51,760 -My condolences. -Thank you, dear friend. 1710 01:42:51,840 --> 01:42:53,199 If you're ever in need, please give me a call. 1711 01:42:53,720 --> 01:42:54,600 I'll call you. Don't worry. 1712 01:42:56,199 --> 01:42:57,399 -My dear Recep. -My dear Hakan. 1713 01:42:58,439 --> 01:43:01,279 Go on a vacation and get your head together. 1714 01:43:01,359 --> 01:43:03,000 You can come back to company whenever you want. 1715 01:43:03,079 --> 01:43:04,199 Fine, thanks. 1716 01:43:04,279 --> 01:43:05,600 See you later. 1717 01:43:08,079 --> 01:43:09,000 My God! 1718 01:43:11,439 --> 01:43:12,640 This is a house of mourning! 1719 01:43:13,600 --> 01:43:17,279 This is a house of death! All they did was sit here 1720 01:43:17,359 --> 01:43:20,319 and eat the sweet dish and then fucked off like a herd of buffaloes. 1721 01:43:21,000 --> 01:43:23,079 Just leave me alone, leave me by myself. 1722 01:43:23,960 --> 01:43:24,880 I'm suffering! 1723 01:43:32,199 --> 01:43:33,359 My God. 1724 01:44:24,640 --> 01:44:25,800 What the hell is this? 1725 01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:29,600 Look at that, she did it again. 1726 01:44:35,079 --> 01:44:36,079 My dear. 1727 01:44:43,000 --> 01:44:44,159 Good God. 1728 01:44:44,239 --> 01:44:47,399 What gave you the idea to take a photo like this? I don't understand it. 1729 01:44:50,319 --> 01:44:54,640 Where on earth did you get this taken? Who took this photo? I don't get it. 1730 01:44:55,520 --> 01:44:57,600 She must have forced the women in the neighborhood 1731 01:44:57,680 --> 01:44:59,079 to take the photo. 1732 01:45:00,159 --> 01:45:02,479 Surely, nothing else could have come out of this chest. 1733 01:45:03,880 --> 01:45:05,359 When I asked what was in it 1734 01:45:05,439 --> 01:45:07,399 you always answered, you'll see when I die. What was in it? 1735 01:45:07,479 --> 01:45:10,439 You'll see when I die. You've done it again. 1736 01:45:17,640 --> 01:45:18,960 You've made me laugh again. 1737 01:45:21,000 --> 01:45:25,479 I'm going to miss you a lot. You left me with so many tasks 1738 01:45:25,560 --> 01:45:27,199 and now you've left without seeing them accomplished. 1739 01:45:32,479 --> 01:45:33,960 My poor, dear grandmother! 1740 01:45:42,000 --> 01:45:43,399 It makes me laugh each time I look at it. 1741 01:46:13,800 --> 01:46:14,720 What the hell are you doing? 1742 01:46:15,520 --> 01:46:16,600 The girl is a savage. 1743 01:46:17,439 --> 01:46:18,800 Why are you trying to get with a girl you don't know? 1744 01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:20,039 She's an Indian beauty. 1745 01:46:29,119 --> 01:46:30,079 I know what you're thinking. 1746 01:46:31,960 --> 01:46:33,199 -Thanks. -Piss off. 1747 01:46:33,279 --> 01:46:34,159 Next. 1748 01:46:36,600 --> 01:46:39,520 Wait a moment. Peace be with you. 1749 01:46:40,760 --> 01:46:42,399 What are you moving out of the way for? 1750 01:46:43,439 --> 01:46:45,319 Good evening, ladies and gentle... 1751 01:46:49,039 --> 01:46:51,880 A grandfather with a white beard. Come here, my child, come here. 1752 01:46:53,479 --> 01:46:54,760 Don't laugh. 1753 01:46:58,000 --> 01:46:59,079 Sorry, it was too high. 1754 01:47:01,560 --> 01:47:04,279 Fill in the blanks, come on! 1755 01:47:07,239 --> 01:47:10,600 Well done. Very good. Get this out the way. 1756 01:47:14,079 --> 01:47:15,119 Lift me up. 1757 01:47:19,680 --> 01:47:20,600 Where did it go? 1758 01:47:22,119 --> 01:47:24,039 I won't go if I'm not invited. 1759 01:47:24,119 --> 01:47:25,039 Come on, let's go. 1760 01:47:29,079 --> 01:47:30,199 I'm coming, too, right? 1761 01:47:34,359 --> 01:47:36,079 -Let's go. -I told you, I'm not invited! 1762 01:47:37,520 --> 01:47:39,199 I'll take a shit right in your mouth. 1763 01:47:40,760 --> 01:47:43,640 You neither bring me a bonsai nor a golden coltsfoot. 1764 01:47:47,439 --> 01:47:48,840 -Yes. -I swear I'll... 1765 01:47:48,920 --> 01:47:50,279 We're playing for money, right? 1766 01:47:50,720 --> 01:47:51,600 Makes no difference. 1767 01:47:52,640 --> 01:47:53,560 Oh my God! 1768 01:47:54,600 --> 01:47:56,399 -God, the sofa. -I always said that you were a bear. 1769 01:47:57,000 --> 01:47:58,319 What a bear!